While browsing the wilderness called the Web, you come across a peculiar article. It seems to focus on... your life! And it's written like a game review! Do you 1) read the article? 2) Go on to something else? Or 3) Eat your computer?

Monster Loves You is a game where you, the player, are confronted with choices like that. You guide your monster from its birth from a giant vat of slime and monster bits, into adolescence, and eventually the rest of its life. This is done through text boxes – one will describe the scenario, and you will have to choose between the different options to progress through your story.

In the early parts of the game, you will develop your monster's personality through five different traits – bravery, cleverness, ferocity, honesty and kindness. Some of your choices will strengthen these, while others will lower them. As you get older, these will be "tested" through a random die roll. Getting older will also unlock other stats you can manipulate – respect when you reach adolescence, and how much monsters like humans or humans like monsters if you manage to get to the "elder" stage. 

The choices are fairly limited – and can get repetitive – at the youngest stages of your monster's life. Once you leave the nursery and go to your hovel for the first time, you'll have more randomly-determined adventures to choose from. Each life stage opens up new possibilities, making each playthrough a different experience. There are 14 different endings to discover, and if played on Steam, each one grants a different achievement.

The graphics are cute, hand-drawn cartoons. One figure, which changes based on the choices you made early in the game, represents your monster. Aside from a word balloon that spouts nonsense when you click on it, it doesn't really do anything to the gameplay. The rest of the screen is pretty static, and although it illustrates the scene, doesn't do a whole lot for the story. The action is mostly text-driven, with the illustrations serving as little more than window dressing. The music is cute, but hardly memorable, and sound effects are minimal.

One of the flaws with the game can be found on Steam. Although Windows users don't suffer from this issue, Mac and Linux users will not have the achievements unlock for them. Supposedly this bug is being worked on... but after two years, it seems unlikely to be fixed any time soon. I've also had a few instances where the game doesn't respond to my clicks, and I have to press the button two or three times before the game seems to notice the choice I made.

From a moral perspective, there are a few things to be concerned about. Blood does appear in a few instances, and one of the endings has a monster chewing on a severed human (?) hand. Also, the ceremony for becoming an elder involves drinking an infusion of blood. It's willfully given by monsters who respect you, but it's still a little disturbing. 

In addition, as advertised in the trailer, you can eat many of the creatures you come across. Even though I haven't run across – and eaten – the Three Little Pigs yet, I have eaten....

• A flock of small birds
• Rusty machine parts
• A clock
• A human baby
• Monkey poo
• Hansel and Gretel
• The Big Bad Wolf
• Three goats
• KIttens

In fact, a good portion of the choices you will face will include eating one (or more) of the items or creatures you come across. Although it isn't terribly graphic in its description, it is presented as a choice, and can be construed as disturbing as it is funny. Fortunately, there isn't any swearing in the game.

A game of Monster Loves You can typically be wrapped up in about an hour. This makes it a great game to relax to, especially for those who enjoy reading and don't mind some disturbing – albeit humorous – descriptions. While not for everyone, Monster Loves You could be a game that you'll fall in love with.

You feel perplexed as you finish the review. Will you 1) rush out and buy the game? 2) Find another part of the Web to read? 3) Hunt down the reviewer and gnaw on his bones? The choice is up to you!