Dating

[airpa]

Ok so this is a hot topic among many in my personal life, and I wanted your guys' input on it. There are many differing opinions on dating and it's purposes, but how do you guys view it? What do you think it's true purpose is? And how would you go about it? I believe the most important question though, is how do you know that she (or he if your a gal) is the one God has for you? Input? (This may or may not have come up in my head because of a certain person in my life. <_< )

[ccgr]

The purpose dating is to see if you're compatible and get to know your date. How to tell if you're with the right one? Hmmm it's gotta be a best friend level, you gotta love spending time with them. Make sure you're equally yoked on belief or it may tear the relationship apart. /experience

[brandon1984]

As long as the purpose is not immoral (seeking pre-marital sex), then the purpose of dating can be anything dude. It's a great way to have fun and learn about how to interact with others on a more intimate level. I don't think it ALWAYS per se has to be about finding a mate.

I think knowing the "right one" is difficult. You should always always await for the "infatuation period" to end before making any decision like this. THis decision is made with intellect, emotion and spirit. First, intellect. You've got to understand the implication of marriage and how you and her can work in the world (jobs, work for the Lord, etc.). Second, emotion. You've got to be emotionally attracted and invested in the other. And, third, spirit. Be patient with God and have faith. You may not get an overwhelming answer, but that's ok. God can make anything work out.

My personal advice is to pay attention to how she treats others. She may treat you well at first, but when the going gets rough there could be some hardship if there's any abusive tendancies at all. Know her goals and pay attention to if her life reflects those goals. Make sure you can support all of her goals. If she wants to be a senator and you want her father your children while staying at home, maybe you should rethink it ya know.

[Sstavix]

Some of the best advice I've heard is to NOT go looking for love. See if she will be a good friend first. Is she someone you can feel comfortable around? Does she know you for who you are and is willing to accept you even during your off-moments? Do you feel the same way about her?

[airpa]

You guys have all pretty much stated my views on dating. lol Glad to know I'm not alone! I definitely agree with staying pure! And she is oldest friend I have, we were born almost two months apart. We've been talking and hanging out more and more since last summer. Good input, keep it coming!

[ChickenSoup]

What they said. Friendzone be darned. I became really good friends with my girlfriend before we dated. ...Then again, we obviously liked each other and flirted nonstop. >_> But still It wasn't so much an issue of looking for love but following what came naturally and what God seemed to be leading us to. It's funny, I guess I can't really think of a time that I didn't love her. It was just a deepening and strengthening and exploration of what was almost immediately present. Now, we plan on getting married in the next few years when life decides to cut us some slack (depending on what grad schools I am accepted to and where she transfers from community college, we may be separated for a little while.)

Don't overcomplicate things, communicate utterly openly, take things slow (emotionally as well as physically), and follow where God leads you.

YOU'LL BE GOLDEN :3

[Orodrist]

And just do be the random wolf in this sheep's pen....

You're young. Go out, have what fun you want, consequences be darned. Just remember it's all math and you should be hoping like heck you don't multiply.

[ChickenSoup]

Or you could, you could ignore the suggestion to be irresponsible and reckless and, well, use your brain

[cjv]

GO orodist!

[_bloodborn01_]

I believe the purpose of dating is ultimately to find a spouse. The thing about love is that it is an action not necessarily a feeling. True love is a commitment, a covenant, of service to someone. So i think that the goal in dating is to find someone, who you get to know well, who you feel you can be committed to and who will do the same for you.

[airpa]

Great insight guys! Thanks! Except for you Oro........way to be the Debby downer.....

[Orodrist]

Except for you Oro........way to be the Debby downer.....

I'm about to bite off my metaphorical tongue. Of the phrases...really?

[brandon1984]

Except for you Oro........way to be the Debby downer.....

I'm about to bite off my metaphorical tongue. Of the phrases...really?

LOL

I think airpa could have selected a better metaphor if such a phrase exists to describe your approach. How about. . . "way to be the initial stage of the prodigal son."

[ArchAngel]

[Truthseeker]

And just do be the random wolf in this sheep's pen....

You're young. Go out, have what fun you want, consequences be darned. Just remember it's all math and you should be hoping like heck you don't multiply.

I disagree with this, but probably not for the same reasons as some others. People should have whatever fun they want so long as they are sufficiently mature and aren't doing something that is illegal or harmful to others. But no one should ever "darn the consequences" in any scenario. Consequences should be considered because you have to live with them, and so do other people. "Hope" does not prevent multiplication, or any other negative outcome. What does prevent negative outcomes is a careful analysis of the potential costs and benefits.

Hey brandon, I was wondering, what is your rationale for saying that premarital sex is immoral?