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  5. Goat Simulator (PC)
Details
Category: Computer
Daniel Cullen By Daniel Cullen
Daniel Cullen
19.May
Hits: 271

Goat Simulator (PC)

boxart
Game Info:

Goat Simulator
Developed By: Coffee Stain Studios
Published By: Coffee Stain Publishing
Released: April 1, 2014
Available On: Linux, macOS, Microsoft Windows, PlayStation 4, Xbox 360, Xbox One
Genre: Sandbox
ESRB Rating: Mature (Blood, Crude Humor, Drug Reference, Strong Language, Violence)
Number of Players: Singleplayer
Price: $9.99
(Humble Store Link)

Note: This review covers the original Goat Simulator for PC. It will cover the base game and all DLC.

Some games are serious adventures. Others are more lighthearted. And some are just ideas that are wacky and elaborated into an entire game to amuse and entertain. Goat Simulator falls into the last niche and is mostly well done at that.

Goat Simulator, as the name implies, is all about being a goat. However, instead of some boring realistic simulation of being a common domesticated farm animal, it's more like "what kind of chaos can you cause as a goat" simulator. The default game mode places you in a contemporary urban environment to annoy local people, do foolishness like trying to headbutt cars, and whatever other wacky silliness you can engage in.

This is a game with several DLC options as well. There is an MMO parody where you can cause chaos in a medieval setting while the game parodies MMO games, right down to a fake chat window and an EXP meter. There is a sci-fi area that parodies space-themed games like Mass Effect and even has a tongue-in-cheek parody of the crowdfunding platform Kickstarter. There is a zombie apocalypse parody where you can either play the role of a goat surviving the apocalypse or an infected goat making it worse. There is even a Payday parody where you can play as the thieving pranksters from that game, just with far more goats.

All of these game modes have some collectibles to find, some loose objectives, and there are achievements you can earn. Regardless, most of the gameplay consists of the player basically finding their own fun, trying to cause as much wacky chaos as they can.

Graphically, this game looks a tad on the cheap side. There is an overwhelming amount of "stock assets" you will see a lot regardless of DLC. Given this game is not remotely taking itself seriously and is set in a silly premise where you play as a goat, it helps with the silly feel. The animation is a bit janky despite the fact that this is a parody. It has silly putty like characters and very loose physics at the best of times. While this does make it fun to smack objects around and cause all sorts of funny things like pileups of NPCs, there is no denying the animation for this game is really cheap-looking.

Goat Simulator
Highlights:

Strong Points: Incredibly silly and laid-back sandbox with a funny goat protagonist
Weak Points: Very janky animation and some soft lock bug
Moral Warnings: Simulated violence against NPCs; some displays of blood; some foul language including use of the word f**k (can be censored); some crude references to genitals; displays of zombies and some occult imagery; depictions of drug selling

Sounds and music are perfectly servicable for setting a whimsical mood. The recurring musical riff in all modes sounds like some slice-of-life show theme as performed by a goat on a kazoo, just modified a bit for the different game modes. Sound effects are also silly but none of them are overly memorable. There is some inane voice-acting chatter, but most of it is vapid observations on your player being a goat.

This title can be played with either a keyboard and mouse or any Steam-supported controller. Both modes are fully supported with fully remappable keys. It's worth noting that while the controls are not hard to learn, and in fact are very simple, the janky animation makes them hard to master. Specifically, while you can grab objects and climb ladders, the wacky, loose physics makes doing specific stunts and actions hard to do perfectly.

Stability is mostly fine. The developers have gone on record saying the only bugs they are fixing are crashes or other major issues. Graphical and physics glitches that are merely funny have never fixed. With that in mind, it is possible to glitch out of the level geometry or otherwise get stuck in some areas. The player can simply hit the respawn button in the menu to fix this though.

This title will run natively on Microsoft Windows. It has macOS and Linux versions, but the developers have admitted them to be a bit unstable. This will run out of the box as Verified on the Steam Deck. Be advised that this is a 32-bit title, and lots of physics or objects on the screen may cause memory leaks or lockups.

It's worth noting this title has Steam Workshop support for adding new items, game modes, or other silliness to your playtime. Given this title is not the most stable of games, this may further degrade stability.

Goat Simulator
Score Breakdown:
Higher is better
(10/10 is perfect)

Game Score - 76%
Gameplay - 15/20
Graphics - 7/10
Sound - 7/10
Stability - 4/5
Controls - 5/5

Morality Score - 58%
Violence - 3/10
Language - 5/10 (+2 with content filter)
Sexual Content - 8/10
Occult/Supernatural - 5/10
Cultural/Moral/Ethical - 8/10

Morally, this title definitely has some issues.

Violence can get somewhat graphic. While there is no serious gore on display, you can do things like kill NPCs by setting them on fire or getting them run over. The zombie DLC features a fair degree of blood as well.

Language can be pretty earthy. Without the explicit content filter on, you will see words from f**k on down on display. The censor filter option will water this down to a more Teen level, but there are still some occasional displays and utterances of profanity.

There is not a lot of sexual content, but there are some crude references to male human genitals. The censor filter will nix most of these though. There are some references to the supernatural and occult, like one area with a pentagram and obvious references to occult sacrifice. The whole goat theme plays into this, with references to goat demons.

Morally, this has a few other issues aside from the fact you are running around causing chaos as a goat. There is a simulation of drug peddling where you are clearly engaging in the distribution of real illegal drugs.

Overall, this is a good game for occasional silly fun. Technically, it's kinda janky and has some softlock-level issues, but is otherwise decently well-made. Morally, even with the in-game censor filter, it's still only fit for mature audiences. If you have a tongue firmly in cheek and can stand some mature humor, then this is the best game to amuse yourself by playing as a goat.

Daniel Cullen
Daniel Cullen
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