The mysterious man on a mysterious island of mystery

[baconisgood23]

Somewhere in the Atlantic Ocean, there was an abandoned island. A man woke up on the island and realized he didn't know who he was. He decided he needed to get off the island and try to find out more about himself, so he...

[cjv]

Ate a rotten peanut and died a painful death.

[micah211]

So his mother and father found his body and buried him but then they had another kid and named him timy. then timy.....

[baconisgood23]

Decided to bring his brother's dead body to the mad scientist on the stormy hill hundreds of miles away from his house to see if he could bring him back to life. The scientist hooked Timy's brother up to a machine and...

[RedPlums]

Injected his brother with a bunch of serums, then, the body started to jerk, and jiggle and wiggle.
When the scientist removed the plastic covering, it revealed, not a human body, but a...

[cjv]

A huge lump of rotten flesh.

[zekesnack]

The he placed the Rotten flesh into a furnace and when it came out it was a fine piece of leather. Then the scientist began to sew...

[RedPlums]

...Sew a nice pair of leather boots.

The scientist presented the brother with the boots and said, "May your brother take you to many places and never let you fall."

And so with that, the man put on his new snazzy brother-boots and decided to...

[baconisgood23]

...find an engineer so he could install rockets in them so he could fly. Once his boots were converted into rocket-boots, he decided to fly over to...

[RedPlums]

Czechoslovakia, where he ran into the mob and was at gunpoint when...

[cjv]

They shot him.

[RedPlums]

After dumping his body in the river, one of the gang members, a rookie, found the snazzy boots and started to feel sorry for the guy he helped kill.
So, he flew out of the country and landed on an island in Micronesia...

[baconisgood23]

where he hired local thief Garret to steal the world's only jar of magical mayonnaise, which was hidden in Area 51, so he could revive the man. The man lent Garret his rocket-brother-boots so he could fly over there. Once the thief got to his destination, he...

[RedPlums]

Encountered weird, humanoid creatures that had broken out from Area 51. The creatures made a deal with Garret, they would tell him where the mayonnaise was if he would help them escape. So, one by one Garret flew the creatures to stowaway on a boat...

[baconisgood23]

That was guarded by hundreds of U.S. Marines. The aliens pulled out their phasers and started firing on the guards. The guards returned fire. Neither side noticed Garret. He decided that, since no one was paying attention to him, he would...