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- Joined: Sun Aug 31, 2014 3:48 am
Q: Did you hear about the guy who died when an axe fell on him?
A: The police are calling it an axe-i-dent.
Q: Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
A: Because the chicken joke wasn't invented yet.
Q: What kind of lights did Noah use on the Ark?
A: Flood lights!
Q: Did you hear about the monster with five legs?
A: His trousers fit him like a glove.
Q: Why don't you see giraffes in elementary school?
A: Because they're all in High School!
Q: Which is the longest word in the dictionary?
A: "Smiles", because there is a mile between each "s"!
Q: What happened to the wooden car with wooden wheels and wooden engine?
A: it wooden go!
Q: Which month do soldiers hate most?
A: The month of March!
Q: What did the painter say to the wall?
A: One more crack like that and I'll plaster you!
- Site Admin
- Posts: 22522
- Joined: Wed May 25, 2005 12:00 am
- Are you human?: Yes!
- Location: IL
After discovering that Helen had shot her husband for walking across her freshly mopped floor,
they call their sergeant on his cell phone.
"It looks like we have a homicide here.
"A woman has shot her husband for stepping on the floor she had just mopped."
"Have you placed her under arrest?"
No sir. The floor is still wet.
- CCGR addict
- Posts: 3494
- Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2007 12:00 am
- Are you human?: Yes!
"Don't take refuge in the false security of consensus."
- Posts: 20
- Joined: Fri Jun 12, 2015 12:51 am
Tom said, "I have really bad short term memory."
"That must be horrible!" Joe replied.
"What's horrible?" said Tom in confusion.
- Posts: 19
- Joined: Mon Jun 15, 2015 10:36 pm
He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight out, and froze. When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head, promised himself a vacation after the next big score, then clicked the light on and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard,
"Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shone his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?", he hissed at the parrot.
"Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you."
The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?"
"Moses," replied the bird.
"Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a birdMoses?"
"The kind of people that would name a Rottweiller Jesus."
- Posts: 15
- Joined: Sun Jul 12, 2015 11:20 pm
why does your nose have a bridge?
so the eyes can cross!
How do you keep a man in suspense?
Man: how? come on, I want to know!
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- Joined: Wed Jul 29, 2015 6:02 pm
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