The Joke Thread

[Lee_Bear_x]

Teacher: Can anybody tell me chemical symbol for water?
Student: HIJKLMNO!
Teacher: Why do say that?
Student: Because yesterday you told us it was H to O!

[burymyheartuk]

Did you know where the first mention of smoking was in the Bible?
-When Rebecca lit off her camel!
The first mention of a 'hit and run' in the Bible?
-When they all came upon Stephen in one "Accord"

[storm]

a famous person when asked said this about people who take a extreme position and refuse to listen to other views

"Extremism is so easy. You've got your position, and that's it. It doesn't take much thought. And when you go far enough to the right, you meet the same idiots coming around from the left"

[pianoplayer51]

What do you call an alligator in a vest?

An investigator.

[OMG_Its_Aly]

A man with dyslexia drives past a bar, he reads the sign aloud: ''Why would anyone want to go in a bra??''

[Lrobl]

theres a man named bob. Bob has no arms. Knock Knock, Whos there not bob

[AngelFireWolf]

My first is in yesterday, but not in today; My second is in after, but not in before; My third is in start, and also in stop; My fourth is the 20th letter of the English alphabet; My fifth is in correct but not in wrong; and my sixth is in pretty, but not in cute. My whole is something celebrated by Christians. What am I?

Spoiler:

Answer: Easter

[1TTTristan1]

Think and grin: John: What did the lamb say when found a penny on the floor?
Tom: What?
John: Better than mutton!

[1Gabedude1]

Minecraft jokes

Joke 1. Q:How good is Minecraft?
A:Top-Notch!!!

Joke 2. Q: What's A Ghasts' favorite country?
A: The Nether-Lands!

Joke 3. Q:What did the Minecraft turkey say?
A:Cobble, cobble, cobble!

Joke 4. God: I can create worlds.
Notch: I can too.
God: I can create animals.
Notch: Me too.
God: I can create circles.
Notch: ......

Joke 5. Q: What is a creeper's favorite subject?
A: HisssssSSStory

Joke 6. Q: Why do creepers love parties?
A: Because they always have a blast!

I hope you like them!

[LAVA89]

Joke 4 made me laugh!

[Jorgmeisterwork]

Minecraft jokes

Joke 1. Q:How good is Minecraft?
A:Top-Notch!!!

Joke 2. Q: What's A Ghasts' favorite country?
A: The Nether-Lands!

Joke 3. Q:What did the Minecraft turkey say?
A:Cobble, cobble, cobble!

Joke 4. God: I can create worlds.
Notch: I can too.
God: I can create animals.
Notch: Me too.
God: I can create circles.
Notch: ......

Joke 5. Q: What is a creeper's favorite subject?
A: HisssssSSStory

Joke 6. Q: Why do creepers love parties?
A: Because they always have a blast!

I hope you like them!

I do

[ccgr]

the circle one was my favorite

[SportStar74]

There were 2 tigers in the Desert it was the dinner time. The first tiger said i have good news and bad news. Whats the Bad news said the 2nd tiger said. Theres only sand for miles said the first. And the Good news? There alot of it!

[Deepfreeze32]

A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, “Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?”

The man below says: “Yes. You’re in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field.”

“You must work in Information Technology,” says the balloonist.

“I do” replies the man, “How did you know?”

“Well,” says the balloonist, “everything you have told me is technically correct, but It’s of no use to anyone.”

The man below replies, “You must work in management.”

“I do,” replies the balloonist, “But how’d you know?”

“Well”, says the man, “you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault.”

[ccgr]

nice