I'm tired.

[ChickenSoup]

I'm tired of 800 assignments every day for my spring class, I'm tired of working around my girlfriend's parents, I'm tired of pretending like I want to do things like practice abstinence at the age of 21, I'm tired of sleeping alone, I'm quickly growing tired of idiot junior high butt-wipe guys who don't take anything I say seriously (I am a leader at a youth group), that I have to work with, I'm tired of being enthusiastic for things about which I literally tive no craps, I'm tired of cleaning toilets, I'm tired of ongoing internal conflict as I figure out what the heck I believe in-- no falling from my faith, just doctrinal things associated with being conservative, I guess. It's hard in a family that watches Fox News o_o


I get so irritated at things these days. I'm around a lot of brilliant people at my college, but some people there (as at any college) and elsewhere... just... they're idiots. This shouldn't be any kind of shocker, but I'm just growing impatient with being polite enough not to call people out. I'm sick of pretending like the most vocal guy in my church isn't absolutely full of BS and shouldn't be allowed to pass the most meager of utterances through his gaping orifice, let alone share the Gospel with anyone.


My profanity has kind of run out of control because I really just haven't had the willpower to care. Today at work I spilled coffee grounds all over the floor at work and dropped the f-bomb cause I was mildly irritated. (well, kind of. Th filter ripped as I carried itnto the trash and I called it a, ahem, bleeper.) Regardless of your views about profanity, I'm getting kind of trashy about it.

I had to do the whole True Love Waits curriculum with the boys in the jr high group I lead. It was stressful for two reasons: first, I have kind if grown to despise them. Not like a "they annoy me" kind of feeling, in which one would despise what they DO, but an actual dislike of the boys themselves to the extent that I become tense any time I have to be in the same room as them... twice a week. Anyway, it was also stressful because I am having a hard time believing in this TLW stuff any more. It's just... Look, I don't think you should have sex or something, but the whole "you'll get pregnant, get AIDS, and die, also your parta will disown you forever" methodology reeeaaaally goes against my sensibilities. Also, considering my county's teen pregnancy rate, TLW just really doesn't work. I'm sorry, but whatever we are doing isn't working. Maybe we have to stop pretending that hormonally charged teens aren't going to abstain because it is fulfilling to deprive yourself of a basic human desire. I dunno. I don't feel inclined to care, as I am leaving the group once I finish out this year. I guess apathy is another problem I have, but that's another can of worms

I am tired of the fact that I love my church's congregation--save the occasional idiot, as previously mentioned, and the community outreach, and, well everything, but the pastor--whom I respect and with whom I am personal friends--cannot preach a danged message that keeps me from falling asleep more than once every month or two. He goes 15 minutes over schedule because he doesn't like to impose limits on the message. Seriously? That's like Public Speaking 101. GAH. And please, preach something deeper than the most basic aspects of faith. I am tired of restating the same dang messages.


Anyway, yeah. It's 2 am and I am typing on an iTouch, so I genuinely hope this came out as intelligibly as I intended I'm just weary. I'll be fine, really. I don't get down in the dumps for more than a few days. Just needed to rant, I s'pose. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go to bed to wake up in 4.5 hours to warm up my bass playin' for church. Weee... >_>

[Chozon1]

It's OK Souperman.

Want a hug?

[ccgr]

praying for you, hope things get less stressful after some sweet sweet sleep

[delve]

It's hard in a family that watches Fox News o_o

Ouch.

praying for you, hope things get less stressful after some sweet sweet sleep

Yes, sleep will probably be the most useful secular remedy. But then I recall my sleeping habits at your age and despair

Praying for you

[ChickenSoup]

Announcing my resignation from youth group leadership this Tuesday. My one-month spring term with an overbearing amount of homework is technically now 25% done. My aunt opened her house in Florida to me this summer for a vacation.


Just have to make it a little further XD

[delve]

Announcing my resignation from youth group leadership this Tuesday. My one-month spring term with an overbearing amount of homework is technically now 25% done. My aunt opened her house in Florida to me this summer for a vacation.

Ugh, homework. Bane of my academic career.
If you'll be in the Tampa area we could meet for a coffee.

[Orodrist]

tl;dr <_<


Nah man. You're burned out. Just get a full tank of gas, a couple hundred rounds of 12ga, and a case of your choice of poison, kidnap your woman and go off the rez for a week. You know you want to >_>

And aye man, hit me up if you come down here. You bring the scotch, I'll bring the cigars.

[ChickenSoup]

tl;dr <_<


Nah man. You're burned out. Just get a full tank of gas, a couple hundred rounds of 12ga, and a case of your choice of poison, kidnap your woman and go off the rez for a week. You know you want to >_>

And aye man, hit me up if you come down here. You bring the scotch, I'll bring the cigars.

Haha, I think the plan is going to be to bring her with me to FL. I need a beach. And rum. Some variety you can't find in MI

[brandon1984]

Sounds like a perfect storm hacking away at your spirituality. I hate sounding pretentious enough to offer advice, but I will do so anyway and hopefully you won't roll your eyes or flush it. You might be spread a little thin having homework, GF, church, video gaming, youth group, etc. You might need to prioritize your education and that may be part of the reason you are resigning from the youth group. Reprioritizing is very important for your health.

Regarding cursing. . . man I remember being stressed and spread out remarkably thin in medical school. And, I was spread thin without having time for movies and games. I was working with jerks all of whom cursed. I let my mouth say anything I wanted. But, looking back I think it was because I lost my spiritual core that I slipped little by little into someone who would regularly say anything at all.

Regarding the whole TLW thing. It's kind of a corny campaign that I never bought into. But, I did believe in waiting. Now being married I can see the even more clearly the value of waiting. My friend, sex can easily turn your GF into a drug and blind your decisions. Aren't you engaged? Then, what's a year without an orgasm? Self control can only come as a fruit of the Spirit, something that you seek from God himself. No amount of your own effort will be successful.

With everything else I pray that God will bless you, school, job, marriage, life. It's so cliche to say this, but I'm afraid old wisdom dies hard: put God first and these things will all follow.

[ArchAngel]

Good decision on resigning. If you can't stand your youth leadership position, it's time to move on.

I don't want to give advice on this thread, but maybe you shouldn't pretend like that vocal guy isn't spouting BS.

And you know what, coarse language does make you feel better. Your body gives you a bit of adrenaline burst and helps you through pain or tense situations. Honestly, maybe this is for a new thread, or maybe not, but swearing in moderation might not be a bad thing. As it seems with most things, responsibility and not abstinence seems to be the name of the game. Even with sex. Now, I really don't know on what grounds I should or shouldn't say about this, so I'll hold back most of it until the go ahead is given on a separate thread, since I have a decent amount to say about it (I was actually thinking of starting one before I read this). But I will say that the sexual/emotional purity thing is one of my bigger regrets in my life, and I'm glad I didn't stick with it.
Yeah, I know, this is not what you're supposed to hear. I suppose I don't want you to feel bad over any of this.

Well, good luck. May you soar with wings like eagles.

[ChickenSoup]

Sounds like a perfect storm hacking away at your spirituality. I hate sounding pretentious enough to offer advice, but I will do so anyway and hopefully you won't roll your eyes or flush it. You might be spread a little thin having homework, GF, church, video gaming, youth group, etc. You might need to prioritize your education and that may be part of the reason you are resigning from the youth group. Reprioritizing is very important for your health.

Definitely. I'm luckily not in any classes for my major this spring and summer. This next month I've got language development at my college (I took human dev. psych. last semester and it piqued my interest) and pre-calc at a local community college to save money this summer, so I will have a bit of a break. I mean, as opposed to an 18-credit semester with human physiology II, gen. physics II, intro to physiology research, developmental psych, and sociology intro. AND it will keep my brain from totally turning off all summer.

Anyway, I've been at church essentially all day every Sunday for the last school year. o_o I also volunteer every wednesday for ~3 hours... so those two things gone = much much much much less stress, especially with monday labs. I'll only be at church until 12:30 as of this summer.

Regarding cursing. . . man I remember being stressed and spread out remarkably thin in medical school. And, I was spread thin without having time for movies and games. I was working with jerks all of whom cursed. I let my mouth say anything I wanted. But, looking back I think it was because I lost my spiritual core that I slipped little by little into someone who would regularly say anything at all.

Yeah, I know this feeling. I'm blessed to not have to work with jerks--yet.

Regarding the whole TLW thing. It's kind of a corny campaign that I never bought into. But, I did believe in waiting. Now being married I can see the even more clearly the value of waiting. My friend, sex can easily turn your GF into a drug and blind your decisions. Aren't you engaged? Then, what's a year without an orgasm? Self control can only come as a fruit of the Spirit, something that you seek from God himself. No amount of your own effort will be successful.

Not engaged yet, but likely within the next year or so. But yeah, you're right. It isn't so much even that (well, let's face it, it's part of it) so much as only getting to see her once or twice a week most weeks. We live about 15 miles away from each other--not bad, I know--but with our schedules (both working, her with two jobs, both in college) it can get lonesome It's been like this for between 3 and a half and 4 years now, so I'm fairly used to it and I think it's made us stronger for it. I'm just... you know. Ready to be done having to say goodbye for another week. I don't doubt the TLW campaign's overall goals or anything, it's just that it's been a while and I (and she) am tired of checking myself because we can't get that close or something. But you're right, I know it has a value.

I don't want to give advice on this thread, but maybe you shouldn't pretend like that vocal guy isn't spouting BS.

Go for advice! I could probably use it And trust me, I'm this close to just calling him out.

And you know what, coarse language does make you feel better. Your body gives you a bit of adrenaline burst and helps you through pain or tense situations. Honestly, maybe this is for a new thread, or maybe not, but swearing in moderation might not be a bad thing.

Agreed. I think there's a certain amount that could be labeled "excessive," though, and I am crossing that line these days.

As it seems with most things, responsibility and not abstinence seems to be the name of the game. Even with sex. Now, I really don't know on what grounds I should or shouldn't say about this, so I'll hold back most of it until the go ahead is given on a separate thread, since I have a decent amount to say about it (I was actually thinking of starting one before I read this)

Mayhaps a thread is in order!

But I will say that the sexual/emotional purity thing is one of my bigger regrets in my life, and I'm glad I didn't stick with it.
Yeah, I know, this is not what you're supposed to hear. I suppose I don't want you to feel bad over any of this.

That's the thing. Any time a boundary gets pushed anymore, I don't feel bad anymore. We've been together so long (and now with definite future plans for marriage) that it almost feels silly. And yeah, I've heard/learned a lot of things I wouldn't have wanted to think about in middle and high school. The world isn't quite what they preach in church it um... it's sometimes even kinder than the church >_>

Methinks a thread IS in order.

[delve]

Anyway, I've been at church essentially all day every Sunday for the last school year. o_o I also volunteer every wednesday for ~3 hours... so those two things gone = much much much much less stress, especially with monday labs. I'll only be at church until 12:30 as of this summer.

Oh man, you are at the definition of over-scheduled. Please take the lesson that this experience offers; one man can't do everything. One man can't even do most things. One man must choose just a few things and do them well.

College is 'a few things' all by itself.

And trust me, I'm this close to just calling him out.

Be prepared for the backlash. I'm not saying you shouldn't speak and I'm not saying you'll be castigated. But it's a distinct possibility. Think very carefully about how you word your statements, semantics is everything in this sort of case. Try not to say anything that could be interpreted as an attack on the person but restrict yourself to disputing the theology, logic, or results of the statements made. Try to do it in a small venue (don't be the disruption in the middle of Sunday services), and don't begin unless you're ready to walk away from that church and make enemies out of some of the friends you have there. It's possible a lot of people are also seething underneath, but it's equally possible that they all agree with him.

If you're not prepared to see those bridges burnt (regardless who wields the torches) then keep your mouth shut and try to limit contact with this person as much as possible. Try not to be 'that guy' that talks about him behind his back but feel free to determine how your closest friends feel about him and vent with them if they agree.

Methinks a thread IS in order.

Agreed.

[ChickenSoup]

Oh man, you are at the definition of over-scheduled. Please take the lesson that this experience offers; one man can't do everything. One man can't even do most things. One man must choose just a few things and do them well.

College is 'a few things' all by itself

Right? XD

Live and learn, I s'pose I still an likely making honors for my major, but churchy stuff almost made me lose that if only because it took away study time.