Christ Centered Gamer

Truthseeker wrote:Hey brandon, I was wondering, what is your rationale for saying that premarital sex is immoral?

Ah, one moment,
if this is going to turn into a debate,
I would suggest ether doing it through a PM, or another thread.
(In case airpa doesn't want this thread to go off topic.)

JOJ650s wrote:

Truthseeker wrote:Hey brandon, I was wondering, what is your rationale for saying that premarital sex is immoral?

Ah, one moment,
if this is going to turn into a debate,
I would suggest ether doing it through a PM, or another thread.
(In case airpa doesn't want this thread to go off topic.)

JOJ650s, if we want to intensely discuss something, we'll start a new thread in respect of airpa. I do think the question is relevant to airpa's dating life and is worth a brief (1-2 post discussion) at the very least. I hope you will agree.

So, to answer your question, Truthseeker, I could just say that it’s Christian tradition or justify it from scripture, but that would be considered a copout in a largely secular culture. I believe God has rationale for our morality, it’s not just divine arbitration. So, I think there must be a way to reason to this, but I don’t know exactly how. However, I do know that we must at least pick one or more axiomatic values we are trying to achieve and similarly axiomatic ‘bad things’ we are trying to avoid because we cannot derive an ‘ought’ from an ‘is’. I don’t know what those values are though. It could be long term joy or it could be to have a faithful marriage or to have a satisfying sex life in marriage or, even better, to have a rich and satisfying marriage APART from sex.

I think there’re two varieties of premarital sex: promiscuity and the committed-couple sex. Promiscuity promotes sexually transmitted disease, unwanted pregnancies, pregnancies resulting in children without a nurturing home environment, and sets the promiscuous up to be dissatisfied with monogamy in the future. Committed-couple sex is more subtle. Having sex before the ultimate commitment can blind one’s judgment. It can lead to dissatisfaction in the future because one remembers old relationships and old sex lifes. There’s probably more I am not thinking of or are unaware of. . .

I know none of these are terribly strong reasons or arguments. But, I really do believe that making the commitment before sex leads to more desired value and less undesirable consequences. If you love someone for who they are and they love you, and I don’t mean neurotransmitter -driven infatuation or some other ulterior motive (like money), but a deep desire and affection, then what can sex really add to this? Just more neurotransmitters? At this point I think making the commitment THEN having sex makes sex so much more beautiful and valuable and avoids the potential to desecrate this gift into an oblivion of selfish misuse.

Brandon, I responded here: http://www.christcenteredgamer.com/phpB ... 66&t=15216

ᵫ

Y'all can talk about it here. And it isn't necessarily advise for my dating life, I just wanted to see others views on dating.

Ooooh, ok.
I just wanted to be sure.

Though thanks for being considerate brandon1984, and Truthseeker.

My suggestion is that you don't go out with anybody unless you're ready. Until you've discovered yourself, you can't discover anyone else. This isn't always the case, but this is coming from experience.

I've never dated a girl or gone any further than that, but......

I have dated quite a bit before and I agree with Deadman 100%.

To get what you want, you have to be what she/he wants first.

EDIT- Oh and confidence is important. Don't be a stalker.

I would recommend a really great sermon about dating from Paul Washer:

That sermon really helped me in finding the right woman for me. God has already the best for you in store and if you are going to seek yourself you are easily deceived by your hunger for love and emotional feelings. Some christians say "if it feels good it must be from God". But that is a big lie! Your own heart can be misleading you and of course you learn from that. But the best way is to wait and pray until God made you ready to meet your future man/woman. I waited 5 years and did not had a relationship untill I was a 100% sure that God brought me the woman that I could mary. It has been one of my best decisions to wait 5 years for my wife (we are married now for almost a year), because even when I thougth I was ready for marriage I really wasn't. Now I am 27 and I see God has worked all those years in a wonderful way so He could put me and my wife together. We couldn't have been brought together in a different time or moment or it wouldn't have worked. And still she is the best woman ever to be my soulmate. She helps me to become more like Christ (even when that's difficult sometimes). God's ways are mysterious, but they are always the best! Be blessed in finding your soulmate, whoever you are! He knows best for you..

Good sermon lots of good points though I'm not a fan of arranged marriages. The parents don't HAVE to accept whom a girl brings home to meet them. I can speak from experience on parents rejecting a couple of my boyfriends. Seeing them on facebook today...they were right!

well he says (in part 2) that neither of the examples he gives is the right way. The best way lies in between.

When dating keep in mind that you should seek someone that has your same desire to follow Christ. Missionary dating doesn't work. It is wrong to stay with someone thinking you will like them once they change.

I wouldn't worry so much about her being "the one." I'm more concerned with whether she's a good godly girl and compatible with me. Don't over think that.

ok i've got something. im a girl lover like i really like girls sometimes even more than my guy friends. i've always had a girl i liked at the present than when we move or don't see each other i find another one. the girl i currently like is most like me and i love her like crazy but i hold all my feelings in side. 2 weeks ago i told her i liked her (BIG MISTAKE) she said she didn't really like me (not hate but not like). im one of those perfect ish guys like captain america from avengers but with red hair and not so perfect of a face. so i don't know what she doesn't like and i would do ANYthing for her. so what should i do with this relationship?

let her go...one sided relationships don't work