There's Always Something
Posted: Sun Mar 20, 2016 10:40 pm
Life in this world is really annoying sometimes. I used to think that "if only [bad situation] would go away, things would be so much better." Now I'm realizing that there will always be something going wrong. So, I have a few things that are going wrong today (and recently in general), and another issue that's a little more important.
My parents were fighting today (again). But they were fighting in front of my little brothers this time, and I don't think they've ever done that before. They've, on occasion, fought when my sister and I were around, but they haven't been so direct in front of our brothers before (not that they couldn't have figured out that there were issues).
After they'd finished, I got online and saw a message from my ex-girlfriend, saying to tell her when I was ready for criticism. I said that she may as well go ahead. So she's been semi-bashing on me for a bit now. She's right about a lot of stuff. She's also wrong about some stuff. I'm not really sure where to go with that.
Those are side issues. Here today, and (hopefully) gone tomorrow. Maybe gone in a week, a month, a year, a lifetime, but still confined to this world.
More importantly, I've been having questions about salvation. The first question is whether or not you can lose (i.e., reject) your salvation. Most people I know say no. But lately, it hasn't looked that way to me. I've seen a few verses that support a no answer, but they're not typically the ones people use to support it.
The next question is, if you can lose it, can you get it back? I've seen evidence to support both yes and no answers there.
Then I ask, can someone get to a point where it isn't possible for a person to be saved at all anymore? I don't know where to go with that.
The last question, and arguably the most important, is whether or not I'm saved. On one hand, I believe that Jesus Christ is Lord, I've been baptized, and I publicly confess Him. On the other hand, even the demons believe and tremble. I'm not sure if I see Him in my actions. I don't feel like I fall and rise again, I feel like I fall and stay down. I say that I've accepted Him, but many will come to Him in that day and say "Lord, Lord." I have the head knowledge, but I don't know if I love Him, or if I'm seeking Him, or if I just want to escape the penalty of sin without getting rid of the sin itself. I don't know if I once was saved, but then rejected Him, or if I've never been saved to begin with, or if I am saved but still needing to grow. But when I consider that last one, I look at the verses that say, "this is how you know you're saved," and I keep not being able to match myself with them, which scares me.
Recently, I've been making a note of any verse that seems to address this issue as I get to it in my daily reading. This obviously isn't a complete list, but it's still fairly long, so I'm putting it in a spoiler just in case you want to look through it all. But either way, prayer would be deeply appreciated. (Also, the fact that I'm concerned about this and making a list isn't necessarily evidence for my salvation, but rather, could be an indicator of my particular personality.)
My parents were fighting today (again). But they were fighting in front of my little brothers this time, and I don't think they've ever done that before. They've, on occasion, fought when my sister and I were around, but they haven't been so direct in front of our brothers before (not that they couldn't have figured out that there were issues).
After they'd finished, I got online and saw a message from my ex-girlfriend, saying to tell her when I was ready for criticism. I said that she may as well go ahead. So she's been semi-bashing on me for a bit now. She's right about a lot of stuff. She's also wrong about some stuff. I'm not really sure where to go with that.
Those are side issues. Here today, and (hopefully) gone tomorrow. Maybe gone in a week, a month, a year, a lifetime, but still confined to this world.
More importantly, I've been having questions about salvation. The first question is whether or not you can lose (i.e., reject) your salvation. Most people I know say no. But lately, it hasn't looked that way to me. I've seen a few verses that support a no answer, but they're not typically the ones people use to support it.
The next question is, if you can lose it, can you get it back? I've seen evidence to support both yes and no answers there.
Then I ask, can someone get to a point where it isn't possible for a person to be saved at all anymore? I don't know where to go with that.
The last question, and arguably the most important, is whether or not I'm saved. On one hand, I believe that Jesus Christ is Lord, I've been baptized, and I publicly confess Him. On the other hand, even the demons believe and tremble. I'm not sure if I see Him in my actions. I don't feel like I fall and rise again, I feel like I fall and stay down. I say that I've accepted Him, but many will come to Him in that day and say "Lord, Lord." I have the head knowledge, but I don't know if I love Him, or if I'm seeking Him, or if I just want to escape the penalty of sin without getting rid of the sin itself. I don't know if I once was saved, but then rejected Him, or if I've never been saved to begin with, or if I am saved but still needing to grow. But when I consider that last one, I look at the verses that say, "this is how you know you're saved," and I keep not being able to match myself with them, which scares me.
Recently, I've been making a note of any verse that seems to address this issue as I get to it in my daily reading. This obviously isn't a complete list, but it's still fairly long, so I'm putting it in a spoiler just in case you want to look through it all. But either way, prayer would be deeply appreciated. (Also, the fact that I'm concerned about this and making a list isn't necessarily evidence for my salvation, but rather, could be an indicator of my particular personality.)
Spoiler: