Christ Centered Gamer

Hey guys, so I need some serious prayer. I have been fighting being free from an addiction since February 2015. I came clean, told my family, my pastor, my wife, and a close friend. I can proudly say I have been clean since February, but the attacks are serious now, to the point where my body (literally) aches for it. It makes me sick, both physically and mentally even thinking about it.

I love God, He is my first and foremost, and yet, I crave the fix so badly. I have been angry, frustrated, depressed and weak (this list could continue), and I've kept telling myself every time I have an attack that I am worthless... I don't deserve my wife, my family, I am a waste of a man.

I could really use some prayer.

Now... the subject, and the positive side of the coin. Every time I have demeaned myself, a small, caring voice tells me... It's not about you. My focus has all along been focused on how I am such a waste. I even felt like Jesus shouldn't have died for an idiot like me. But He did... He died for me. I have lost my way, but He died for me, knowing my sins, knowing my failures, and loving me anyway.

Isaiah 57:14-19

14 And it will be said: “Build up, build up, prepare the road! Remove the obstacles out of the way of my people.”
15 For this is what the high and exalted One says — he who lives forever, whose name is holy: "I live in a high and holy place, but also with the one who is contrite and lowly in spirit, to revive the spirit of the lowly
and to revive the heart of the contrite.
16 I will not accuse them forever, nor will I always be angry, for then they would faint away because of me— the very people I have created.
17 I was enraged by their sinful greed; I punished them, and hid my face in anger, yet they kept on in their willful ways.
18 I have seen their ways, but I will heal them; I will guide them and restore comfort to Israel’s mourners,
19 creating praise on their lips. Peace, peace, to those far and near,” says the Lord. “And I will heal them.”

...He knows my failures, and He will heal them. Please pray for a contrite spirit for me. It isn't about me, the more I focused on my failure, the more I was likely to fall back into sin. Therefore, may my focus be on Him who died for me, and on those who need Him.

If you have a similar issue, feel free to take this challenge, instead of focusing on your weakness, every time you feel an attack coming on, pray for someone else, take the focus off of yourself, and commit the time to the Lord and to those that need Him as a shelter.

Praying for strength, congrats of (nearly) a year of staying clean!

First off, welcome to what I have found to be a friendly and loving community!
You have pointed out the problem and the solution within your post. It is indeed all about focus. I myself have an addiction that to many of mainstream society is "normal" and "acceptable", yet when things get to a certain point it's "unacceptable". I'd rather not get into exactly what that addiction is but I will express distaste for my thoughts as well as it's even existing in the world. I will also claim the deliverance from it for several years despite the returning thoughts which are immediately removed by God's Word. (It's one of many reasons we're told to "renew your minds daily."
The fact you even made this post tells me (and others with ears to hear) you may be seeking confirmation? If this is indeed true then you have it! If this isn't the case, and being human I am able to make mistakes, then word for word your post is not only as the subject states, but also a message for another in this same situation. That would make you an angel since the definition of an angel is "messenger."
My prayers always go up for those around me, even if I don't know them! So many might have had a better day or even an improved life just because I believe my prayers are heard even if I'm riding a bus praying for other passengers! You are no exception. My prayer will be as you ask but I shall also include confidence in and for yourself. You made the post, felt the feelings behind every word and wasn't taking it solo but including others as well. In my book this type of person is of value and not worthless!
God's smiling on you right now! I'm joining Him!

BlockHeadLewie wrote:First off, welcome to what I have found to be a friendly and loving community!
You have pointed out the problem and the solution within your post. It is indeed all about focus. I myself have an addiction that to many of mainstream society is "normal" and "acceptable", yet when things get to a certain point it's "unacceptable". I'd rather not get into exactly what that addiction is but I will express distaste for my thoughts as well as it's even existing in the world. I will also claim the deliverance from it for several years despite the returning thoughts which are immediately removed by God's Word. (It's one of many reasons we're told to "renew your minds daily."
The fact you even made this post tells me (and others with ears to hear) you may be seeking confirmation? If this is indeed true then you have it! If this isn't the case, and being human I am able to make mistakes, then word for word your post is not only as the subject states, but also a message for another in this same situation. That would make you an angel since the definition of an angel is "messenger."
My prayers always go up for those around me, even if I don't know them! So many might have had a better day or even an improved life just because I believe my prayers are heard even if I'm riding a bus praying for other passengers! You are no exception. My prayer will be as you ask but I shall also include confidence in and for yourself. You made the post, felt the feelings behind every word and wasn't taking it solo but including others as well. In my book this type of person is of value and not worthless!
God's smiling on you right now! I'm joining Him!

Man, I feel really like you're a brother from another mother, but the SAME FATHER! A kindred spirit, I appreciate what you said. You'll be in my prayers as well, each day is a battle that Jesus has already won. I feel like it is time I realize that. It's already won, we already have the strength, and we are more than a conquerors!