Prayers for my family
Posted: Sun Jan 12, 2014 8:29 pm
My parents(along with myself and my siblings) started taking care of my mother's mom and step-dad about 6 months ago. When I say taking care, I mean 24-hour care. Someone was always over there watching and helping them.
My grandfather, died last September, and we have been dealing with that loss for the last several months.
My grandmother has dementia, and if any of you have been in contact with that, you know how hard that is to deal with. Also, my grandmother has always had serious temper problems, and basically (purposefully) made everyone around her absolutely miserable. She is basically non-stop yelling and being difficult.
We have been trying to figure out how we are going to make this work. She lives 30 minutes away from us, so constantly driving back and forth is not an option, but we have still been doing that for the last 6 months. My parent's don't know if we want her to come and live with us, or to put her in a nursing home and be "done" with taking care of her.
If she were to come live with us, we would sell her house, and add on an apartment to our house. The problem is, she would go absolutely insane if she had construction going on around her.
One other problem is my mother's two siblings. They are not Christians, and all they want is the money. we were in a little war with them trying to get the legal right's over my grandmother before they did.If they had gotten them, they would have shipped her straight off to a nursing home, sold her house, and kept all her money.
My grandmother does not want to go to a nursing home. The idea scares her to death. My parents told her that we would try our very hardest to find a place for her to live. But no matter what, she HAS TO HAVE 24-hour care. As difficult as she is, we still love her, but in my mother's words, "only because she is my mother". We have that duty towards her.
Before my grandfather died, he gave us all his money, and asked us to take care of his wife. My parents agreed to that, and since then, we have kept up to that agreement.
My grandmother, as I said above, has dementia. She is also borderline psychotic. She is literally going insane. My parents have been worried about her getting violent. My grandmother is 5 feet, 6 inches, and weighs roughly about 85 pounds. She is so skinny, from going years without eating enough. Only recently has she weighed that much.
A year ago, she weighed about 70 pounds.
Really, we are more afraid of her hurting herself, by trying to kill us. Sort of...
Which leads us to a story, that happened last night.
My mother was afraid of my grandmother "accidentally" overdosing on her pills, so she took them away from her, and only put out what she needed in the morning and night. My grandmother was absolutely furious. That was earlier this week.
Yesterday, my older sister went and took her turn over at my grandmother's house. Last night, my grandmother went to bed, and so did my sister.
At night, whoever stays over at my grandmother's, locks the bedroom door, just in case she gets it into her head to kill us in our sleep. Well, we are now very glad that we do that.
At about 11PM last night, my grandmother came and knocked on my sister's bedroom door. She wanted her pills. My sister, from inside the bedroom, called my dad, and asked if she was supposed to give her the pills. My dad said absolutely not. So my sister told her, no. She was not going to give her pills that will make her hallucinate and go even crazier than she already is. (she already hallucinates)
My grandmother doesn't even really know what the pills are. She just knows that they are hers, and they were taken away from her. She acts like a child, and thinks what she wants, she gets. So then after yelling a bunch, she started ramming my sister's door.
Quite understandably, my sister was freaking out. She called up my dad again, and they just stayed on the phone until my grandmother gave up. She didn't leave until about 2AM.
For almost 3 hours, my grandmother was ramming the door, and screaming and yelling. My dad wasn't going to go over there, unless my sister asked him to. And he told her that. As long as she kept the door locked, she was fine. My dad told her to just put something under her door, and go to sleep.
My father went over there this morning to relieve my sister from her duties.
My sister is 27 years old, and she told me that she had nightmares last night of her own grandmother killing her.
My mother told me that she's thinking that today might be "it".
This is the predicament my family is in right now. Any advice, prayers, or really anything, is appreciated.
My grandfather, died last September, and we have been dealing with that loss for the last several months.
My grandmother has dementia, and if any of you have been in contact with that, you know how hard that is to deal with. Also, my grandmother has always had serious temper problems, and basically (purposefully) made everyone around her absolutely miserable. She is basically non-stop yelling and being difficult.
We have been trying to figure out how we are going to make this work. She lives 30 minutes away from us, so constantly driving back and forth is not an option, but we have still been doing that for the last 6 months. My parent's don't know if we want her to come and live with us, or to put her in a nursing home and be "done" with taking care of her.
If she were to come live with us, we would sell her house, and add on an apartment to our house. The problem is, she would go absolutely insane if she had construction going on around her.
One other problem is my mother's two siblings. They are not Christians, and all they want is the money. we were in a little war with them trying to get the legal right's over my grandmother before they did.If they had gotten them, they would have shipped her straight off to a nursing home, sold her house, and kept all her money.
My grandmother does not want to go to a nursing home. The idea scares her to death. My parents told her that we would try our very hardest to find a place for her to live. But no matter what, she HAS TO HAVE 24-hour care. As difficult as she is, we still love her, but in my mother's words, "only because she is my mother". We have that duty towards her.
Before my grandfather died, he gave us all his money, and asked us to take care of his wife. My parents agreed to that, and since then, we have kept up to that agreement.
My grandmother, as I said above, has dementia. She is also borderline psychotic. She is literally going insane. My parents have been worried about her getting violent. My grandmother is 5 feet, 6 inches, and weighs roughly about 85 pounds. She is so skinny, from going years without eating enough. Only recently has she weighed that much.
A year ago, she weighed about 70 pounds.
Really, we are more afraid of her hurting herself, by trying to kill us. Sort of...
Which leads us to a story, that happened last night.
My mother was afraid of my grandmother "accidentally" overdosing on her pills, so she took them away from her, and only put out what she needed in the morning and night. My grandmother was absolutely furious. That was earlier this week.
Yesterday, my older sister went and took her turn over at my grandmother's house. Last night, my grandmother went to bed, and so did my sister.
At night, whoever stays over at my grandmother's, locks the bedroom door, just in case she gets it into her head to kill us in our sleep. Well, we are now very glad that we do that.
At about 11PM last night, my grandmother came and knocked on my sister's bedroom door. She wanted her pills. My sister, from inside the bedroom, called my dad, and asked if she was supposed to give her the pills. My dad said absolutely not. So my sister told her, no. She was not going to give her pills that will make her hallucinate and go even crazier than she already is. (she already hallucinates)
My grandmother doesn't even really know what the pills are. She just knows that they are hers, and they were taken away from her. She acts like a child, and thinks what she wants, she gets. So then after yelling a bunch, she started ramming my sister's door.
Quite understandably, my sister was freaking out. She called up my dad again, and they just stayed on the phone until my grandmother gave up. She didn't leave until about 2AM.
For almost 3 hours, my grandmother was ramming the door, and screaming and yelling. My dad wasn't going to go over there, unless my sister asked him to. And he told her that. As long as she kept the door locked, she was fine. My dad told her to just put something under her door, and go to sleep.
My father went over there this morning to relieve my sister from her duties.
My sister is 27 years old, and she told me that she had nightmares last night of her own grandmother killing her.
My mother told me that she's thinking that today might be "it".
This is the predicament my family is in right now. Any advice, prayers, or really anything, is appreciated.
Praying for wisdom, strength and guidance for your family.