Christ Centered Gamer

I need to get something out there and off my chest, because it's a major character flaw I have that causes me considerable anxiety and distraction.

My sin is pride.

I'm easily offended. Ridiculously easily offended. It's so easy to offend me people do it every single day without even knowing it. I'm such a baby when it comes to that sort of thing that I have to check myself constantly to keep from spending every waking moment angry at people.

That's why I added the Brigham Young quote to my sig. It isn't to explain how I think. It's to explain how I WANT to think. It's an ideal I strive for and fail every single day.

See, I try to be aware of people. I try to choose my words carefully, to avoid causing harm. I'm not always very good at it, and sometimes I do upset people, but I make an effort not to, and I try to be quick to apologize when I do it. It's an effort to be sensitive to others' feelings. The problem is that I DEMAND that people do the same for me, and that isn't always reasonable. (And frankly, even if it is, that's no excuse to react the way I do.)

So when someone says or does something that I find to be insensitive toward me or toward others, I think "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?" I think "HOW DARE YOU?" And my kneejerk reaction is to go to battle stations. It's like I feel entitled to a certain level of respect or awareness. Know what that is? That's pride. That's me feeling like I deserve something that I'm not getting (or that I perceive that I'm not getting).

The real question is, just who do I think I am?

Jesus was beaten, whipped, humiliated, stripped naked, tortured, cursed, spit upon and executed in the most degrading procedure available at the time. Who am I that I think I deserve better than a few careless words or insults? Did Jesus get all uppity and confrontational? No. He deserved none of what happened to Him but he took it because He knew when to be humble.

It's a lesson I have been struggling to learn myself with varying levels of success. I think I've made progress. I think I'm getting better. I think I'm less likely to lash out and quicker to calm down. Someday maybe I'll truly be able to live that Brigham Young quote. I'm not there yet, but someday I hope to be. Jesus' example is one to strive for even if I know I'll never be perfect like Him.

Maybe a few more reads of the New Testament (yes, Mormons read the New Testament and we LOVE it.) and the Book of Mormon where Jesus taught humility, patience and love will help me get closer. Maybe one day I won't feel a jab of anger when someone says something insensitive or insulting in my presence.

We all have our berserk buttons, but I think I have a whole control panel loaded with them. Perhaps with the help of the Holy Spirit I can gradually deactivate my berserk buttons and get to a state of true calm.

The Lord knows my blood pressure will thank me.

/rantconfession

Awesome post and sig. Pride is such an easy thing to fall victim to. You're not alone brother. As Christians it's a tough balance of not being prideful, entitled or playing the victim card it seems. At least that's my 0.02

Well, I have been certainly testing you regularly on this and you've been passing. So, you got that going for you.

And I've said this before: I do really like your quote. It's very apt. On a similar level, TS's sig stands out to me too:
O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek . . . to be understood, as to understand.
The Prayer of Saint Francis is rather beautiful. Those two sig quotes really stood out to me as walking hand in hand in how best to handle oneself in debates, as well in life.

So, in an effort to understand, what particular topics or types of remarks get under your skin. Finding out what particular things got me offended, helped me understand myself and in turn, helped remove any personal feelings I might have that would trigger undue offense. For example, for certain religious debates, it was easy to become offended and go off on an emotional and misguided rant because it was something I defined myself by and any criticism of my religion became a personal attack on me. Once I understood what was happening, I could address a criticism on religion as it was, without feeling like it was about me.
Just a thought. The knowledge of offense is quite an introspective search.

And, as a thought. It's not always so bad to be offended. As long as you understand why you are. Anger, I would think, has it's place and is meant to be a trained guard dog and not a wild hound let loose. Even Jesus flipped tables over.

Arctic, you're an intelligent guy so I can understand how pride would be your temptation. I think it takes a lot of humility to confess one's pride as you have done. May balance be restored to your ego and to everyone else here that struggles with pride including myself.

Thank you for saying that Arctic. I can't do much for you, except pray, I shall pray for you, that the Lord God can help you get out of your pride.
All I can do is suggest that you keep praying too.
Philippians 2:3 'Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.'
Obadiah 1:3 'The pride of your heart has deceived you, you who live in the clefts of the rock. in your lofty dwelling who say in your heart, "Who will bring me down to the ground?"'
Romans 15:17 'In Christ Jesus then, i have reason to be proud of my work for God.'
Romans 12:3 'For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned.'

Thanks, guys. Much appreciated.

ArchAngel wrote: And, as a thought. It's not always so bad to be offended. As long as you understand why you are. Anger, I would think, has it's place and is meant to be a trained guard dog and not a wild hound let loose. Even Jesus flipped tables over.

There wasn't enough space to include the full quote from Brigham Young, but it goes like this:

“He who takes offense when offense was not intended is a fool, yet he who takes offense when offense is intended is an even greater fool for he has succumbed to the will of his adversary.”
-Brigham Young

So basically, even when we're justified in feeling offended, we STILL shouldn't, because it gives our adversary power over us. I agree that when someone is being offensive we should speak up, but in a constructive way, and not as an emotional response. That's the biggest challenge for me.