Christ Centered Gamer

I'm pretty sure I need deliverance from a spirit of fear. I was emotionally and spiritually abused when I was a child by multiple people in my old church and family. I used to be a real worry-wort, scared to do everything. Always afraid of the What-ifs (lack of love in my home) or whose watching (corrupt church) or watching myself so I don't mess up (my dad)... That's why I never went to college, nor moved out of my grandparents house, nor looked into finding a job that I really wanted, cause I always took the "easy" ones that weren't very intimidating to me. This "spirit of fear" left me about 2-3 weeks ago. I invited sin back into my life though about a week ago and stopped reading my bible and praying. I think this has opened the door for it to come back into my life.

I believe that I'm saved by God's grace through Jesus' death and resurrection. I think I will pray and fast for awhile, because I think it's needed. I don't have a job right now and I've always had a place to stay with my grandparents. The few bills I have are already paid, thank God.

Praying

praying for you

I was in the same position as you a few months ago. I know how hard it is to deal with past anxieties and the fear of becoming committed to going to Church and getting involved.

I will be praying for you, so that the Holy Spirit may heal you from all the pains of the past. Some advice that I've taken recently was to truly forgive others and to give love to all of my enemies. It's hard, but God has helped me a lot during this struggle. I will pray that He will give you strength and courage to overcome these fears!

Praying for you.

I want to thank you for your prayers. It's nice to know that I have online brothers/sisters in Christ that don't even know me, but still are willing to take time to say a prayer for me in the name of our Lord Jesus. I once had a community of secular gaming friends on ign.com boards back in the late 90's, but this is much more of a blessing to communicate with others that are in Christ.

I don't have much of an update on me. My own attention is being shifted less on me and to my family and friends. Other's needs are drawing me closer in my own personal relationship with Him. He showed me today that I have been too clingy to other people for my comfort in Him (going to them for a word) and I should depend solely more on Him through Jesus.

I was talking to my Mother today on the phone and she was telling me a story about how the same thing happened to her. She was saved under her husband (not my father) and depended on him too much to the point that when she was under spiritual oppression/attacks she would cry out his name instead of Jesus'. I was agreeing with her that I knew what she meant and that I did that with her and other spiritual leaders that I was fond of. But it only dawned on me later in the day whenever I was sending a text message to my sister letting her know how much I wish mom would stop relaying messages to me through my sister. I wanted to hear directly from her more often not through my sister.

Throughout the day I have thought that two different messages have been relayed to me, but I'm coming to the conclusion that it is only 1 message. Through the Bible it's been "Look at Me, through my Son." and again confirmed through my own words through my sister.

"Look at me through my Son. Stop looking at your mom, stop looking at others you put on a pedestal." Family Idolatry, but even more specific is to actually broaden the term to just Idolatry.

My mother called me about 2 hours ago (3am) says she's going to the doctor today, cause she felt like God spoke to her about her ovaries again. She's had bad health for the majority of her life and strayed from God after the divorce with her husband. All of her sisters have had breast cancer, thank God she hasn't so far. She could have ovarian/liver cancer cause it can effect different areas. She left me when I was 5 to the family I was raised with, because of the court battle that they was dragging me and her through. The doctor told her that she had cancer cells in the ovaries and the stress of the court battle was causing them to get worse.

I hope He doesn't take her from us, because she's only 40. I have a half sister (15) and a half brother (16) (they are full blood to each other). My mom is not afraid of dying she just doesn't want to have to leave my bro and sis cause they don't have much of a dad. So pray for him too.

I have decided to not idolize my family anymore, but to put Him first.
I encourage you guys to pray that His will would be done.
I pray that He would have grace and mercy on her for His own glory.
I'll definitely be praying for God to bless you all for your prayers.

I'll be praying for you and your mother. Keep us posted. Stay strong!

I will keep you and your mother in my prayers.

You and your mother will be on my prayer list!

Mom will be having tests done tomorrow. Right now shes out of a job. Pray for her ex boyfriend that he would have understanding in this. Hes been causing her some stress lately, not just with all of this, but he has made attempts to stop her from getting a job. He is not saved so pray for him. Shes turned from the sin she was in with him. And that is causing him to become clingy, of course.

This is primetime for her to cling to God. Shes doing a good so far. Strength, patience, and understanding is critical right now for her.

She will have a test ran tomorrow. Pray for me as well ive been having faint anxiety attacks, weak ones. Mostly over that stupid occult stuff I was in and my moms condition. I have the faith in God to work miracles though. I wont lie, Im a little scared this is a life and death situation.

Double post, lol. Hey guys I feel that God has given me a word to reflect on today. Id like to share it. Its Isaiah 50 and 51. Again thank you for your prayers and I encourage you to read it and allow the Holy Spirit speak to you on it.

praying, please keep us posted

Praying for you and your Mom.

Hey, thanks for the prayers. Everything is going really well. Mom's tests were fine. If you want to continue to keep me on your guy's prayer list do so. I love prayer. ^_^ I'll be praying for you guys as well. Thanks for all your care and concerns too.

Awesome, thanks for the update!