I lost my sister.
Posted: Wed Feb 22, 2012 5:36 pm
And I don't know how to feel about it.
When my brother died last September it was a huge shock... I was closest to him of all my siblings so it hit me like a ton of bricks.
But my sister and I weren't that close. I mean, we got along fine when we were in the same place at the same time, which happened about once every 10 years or so. I have some fond memories of her, especially when I was a little kid. She would tickle me mercilessly and had the coolest wall hangings in her room. A Star Trek poster that I later got to have, a pencil drawing of the album cover for her favorite KISS record... Stuff like that.
She'd been sick for a very, very long time and we found out only last week that she'd been in a hospice facility for a few months. We knew she wasn't likely to make it until March, but this was still sooner than expected.
So I don't know how to feel. It hurts, but I feel guilty that it doesn't hurt more. Mom is the same way... I don't think she's planning to go to another funeral for another of her kids... And on the phone she sounds so emotionally threadbare and tired.
And maybe that's how it is for me too. Tired. Emotionally not ready for this again.
When my brother died last September it was a huge shock... I was closest to him of all my siblings so it hit me like a ton of bricks.
But my sister and I weren't that close. I mean, we got along fine when we were in the same place at the same time, which happened about once every 10 years or so. I have some fond memories of her, especially when I was a little kid. She would tickle me mercilessly and had the coolest wall hangings in her room. A Star Trek poster that I later got to have, a pencil drawing of the album cover for her favorite KISS record... Stuff like that.
She'd been sick for a very, very long time and we found out only last week that she'd been in a hospice facility for a few months. We knew she wasn't likely to make it until March, but this was still sooner than expected.
So I don't know how to feel. It hurts, but I feel guilty that it doesn't hurt more. Mom is the same way... I don't think she's planning to go to another funeral for another of her kids... And on the phone she sounds so emotionally threadbare and tired.
And maybe that's how it is for me too. Tired. Emotionally not ready for this again.
Don't feel guilty...I think you were just prepared for this to happen.