Love 1 liners! Need separate thread for long winded jokes.
CARZ
The Joke Thread
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Comotto
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CARZ
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Abraxun
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Five hundred bricks in a plane. One falls out. How many are left?
How do you put an elephant into a fridge?
How do you put a giraffe into a fridge?
The Lion is having a birthday party and invites all animals except which one?
Sally wishes to cross a river but it is infested with alligators. She crosses it and lives. How?
Sally dies anyway. How could she have possibly died?
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Marzer
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Why didn't they play cards on the Ark?
Because Noah was standing on the deck.
Because Noah was standing on the deck.
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timedmercury64
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What did the farmer use to heal the pig from sunburn? Oinkment
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there was a tv with Minecraft on the other side
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there was a tv with Minecraft on the other side
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ShadowedStarr
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XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDmebmatt wrote: Sat Jun 30, 2012 1:15 am Here's a joke my sister came up with (she thinks it's lame) and wanted me to tell it:
What did Harry Potter's godfather say when people thought he was joking about what happened in the Department of Mysteries?
"I'm dead Sirius."
"They're shoes... but sharp... But shoes.. But sharp..... I need a moment. I think I'm having some emotions here." ~Stabitha Doogan~
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ShadowedStarr
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Ever heard of the dyslexic person who worshiped Dog? Btw I got this joke from my dad Sstavix. I don't find it funny. -_-
"They're shoes... but sharp... But shoes.. But sharp..... I need a moment. I think I'm having some emotions here." ~Stabitha Doogan~
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ArcticFox
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It's a dad joke... You aren't supposed to.ShadowedStarr wrote: Thu Jun 21, 2018 6:02 am Ever heard of the dyslexic person who worshiped Dog? Btw I got this joke from my dad Sstavix. I don't find it funny. -_-
I get my daughter with jokes like that all the time.
"He who takes offense when no offense is intended is a fool, and he who takes offense when offense is intended is a greater fool."
—Brigham Young
"Don't take refuge in the false security of consensus."
—Christopher Hitchens
—Brigham Young
"Don't take refuge in the false security of consensus."
—Christopher Hitchens
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Sstavix
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You didn't tell it right.ShadowedStarr wrote: Thu Jun 21, 2018 6:02 am Ever heard of the dyslexic person who worshiped Dog? Btw I got this joke from my dad Sstavix. I don't find it funny. -_-
Have you heard about the dyslexic atheist who didn't believe in dog?
And since this is the joke thread.... My other daughter asked for some jokes, so I made some up that featured some of her favorite characters from TV... My Little Pony. I won't torment you with all of them, just the best (worst?) ones.
Which pony loves to read vampire romance novels?
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Buildhappy3308
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Why can't you ever hear pterodactyls when they're in the bathroom?
Because they have silent "P"
Because they have silent "P"
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Z_Tank
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Truth to be told I'm not a big person on jokes but here I go
How do you play hide and seek with an ocelot??
How do you play hide and seek with an ocelot??
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TheRealYlias
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Knock Knock.... Owls.... Yes. Yes they do.
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Jivesucka
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How many alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
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EpicCrafter9000
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Q. Why couldn’t Jonah trust the ocean?
A. Because he knew there was something fishy about it.
Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
A. Noah; he was floating his stock while everyone was in liquidation.
A. Because he knew there was something fishy about it.
Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
A. Noah; he was floating his stock while everyone was in liquidation.
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CrazyRandomDOGE
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yeah so I am very bad at jokes but, here goes one. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Boom laugh please...
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BellicosityKit
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I'm terrible at jokes, so I'll submit a couple funny puns I've seen circulating again...
What is a dentist’s favorite hymn?
Crown Him with Many Crowns
What car make did the Apostles drive?
Honda… because the apostles were all in one Accord.
What is a dentist’s favorite hymn?
Crown Him with Many Crowns
What car make did the Apostles drive?
Honda… because the apostles were all in one Accord.