Re: The Joke Thread
Posted: Sun Nov 03, 2013 12:29 am
A Catholic Priest, a Baptist Preacher and a Rabbi all served as Chaplains to
the students of Northern Michigan University at Marquette in the Upper
Peninsula of Michigan. They would get together two or three times a week
for coffee and to talk shop.
One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all
that difficult, and that a real challenge would be to preach to a bear.
One thing led to another, and they decided to do an experiment. They would
all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert
it to their religion.
Seven days later, they all came together to discuss their experiences:
Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, was on crutches, and had
various bandages on his body and limbs, went first.
'Well,' he said, 'I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found
him, I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted
nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my
holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle
as a lamb. The Bishop is coming out next week to give him his first
communion and confirmation.'
Reverend Billy Bob the Baptist spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, had one
arm and both legs in casts, and had an IV drip.
In his best fire-and-brimstone oratory, the Preacher exclaimed, 'WELL,
brothers, you KNOW that we Baptists don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND
me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD!
But that bear wanted nothing to do with me.
So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP
another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quickly DUNKED him
and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as
a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus. Hallelujah!
The Priest and the Preacher both looked down at the Rabbi, who was lying in
a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IVs and monitors
running in and out of him.
He was in really bad shape.
The Rabbi looked up and said: "Looking back on it, the best way to start
may not have been circumcision."
the students of Northern Michigan University at Marquette in the Upper
Peninsula of Michigan. They would get together two or three times a week
for coffee and to talk shop.
One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all
that difficult, and that a real challenge would be to preach to a bear.
One thing led to another, and they decided to do an experiment. They would
all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert
it to their religion.
Seven days later, they all came together to discuss their experiences:
Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, was on crutches, and had
various bandages on his body and limbs, went first.
'Well,' he said, 'I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found
him, I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted
nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my
holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle
as a lamb. The Bishop is coming out next week to give him his first
communion and confirmation.'
Reverend Billy Bob the Baptist spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, had one
arm and both legs in casts, and had an IV drip.
In his best fire-and-brimstone oratory, the Preacher exclaimed, 'WELL,
brothers, you KNOW that we Baptists don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND
me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD!
But that bear wanted nothing to do with me.
So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP
another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quickly DUNKED him
and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as
a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus. Hallelujah!
The Priest and the Preacher both looked down at the Rabbi, who was lying in
a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IVs and monitors
running in and out of him.
He was in really bad shape.
The Rabbi looked up and said: "Looking back on it, the best way to start
may not have been circumcision."