Spam 2...the next thousand pages....

[JesusIsLord713]

I'll see if I have time to post another today. I hope so though!

[ZappierVirus]

Sweet! Can't wait!

[JesusIsLord713]

Sorry I didn't post one today. Didn't feel like it. (I'll tell you the story on Saturday Zap)

[ZappierVirus]

That is ok, the tension is growing. What happened to the Villagers!?!? Are they OK!?!?!

[BlockHeadLewie]

That is ok, the tension is growing. What happened to the Villagers!?!? Are they OK!?!?!

^^^THIS!^^^
(Almost feels like Heinz Ketchup, huh? Feel the anticipation? It's making me WAIT!)
UGH!

[JesusIsLord713]

I don't know they may be still trying to run from the zombies in the last episode.

[ZappierVirus]

Whatever happened to them, it will be funny.

[JesusIsLord713]

(villager news episode)

(villager reporter) "Aaaaahhhhh!!! Helicopter hurry!!" Once on the helicopter he says "Oh! Welcome to villager news! I hope you didn't see what just happened prior to getting on this slow moving helicopter...I should of asked for a plane instead."

Villager 60 (who started recording) gulped. Villager 100 noticed and said "Does that gulp mean...YOU RECORDED ME RUNNING FOR MY LIFE?!?!?!?!"

Villager 60 says "yes sir! I am handing the video camera to you now sir! I am now finished sir!" Villager 60 then does a flip and falls out of the helicopter and is taken to the emergency room due to bones breaking. "Ow........stop...moving...me...so...much..."

"............................Oh! I am still recording! Anyway this episode of villager news will be different from the last one. My studio unfortunately got ruined by the zombies and are taking over. So I will have to do this episode on a helicopter."

A villager that is part of the helicopter says "Hello! I am a helicopter!"

Village 100 is annoyed "I know that! You wouldn't be if you weren't part of it! Now please...GET MOVING FASTER!!!"

"cough cough, excuse me...anyway our village has gotten over runned by zombies. We are currently looking for a new place of residence."

Villager 15 looks down and says "Hey everybody! I think I see some buildings!

The helicopter lands and the villagers start to inspect the village. They find no one lives in the village so they take residence. Villager 100 says "ahh...such a great place to be. I think I actually prefer this place than the previous village."

(1 week later) 1 night. The villagers go inside their homes as normal. Around midnight, new mobs come to the village. The villagers are asleep but wake up to the sound of strong footsteps. "What's that sound?!" One villager calls, "I can't sleep with noise like this!"

"Go back to sleep!" The villagers mate smacks him with a stick to make him go back to sleep.

The creepy mobs come closer and start banging on the doors. The mobs look a lot like iron golems so the villagers head out. Only to realize they are the iron golems evil twins! The ZOMBIE golems!!!

Villager 100 shouts "I SHOULD'VE known!!! Not again!!!" Everyone panics once again and run throughout the village. Fortunately, just like the iron golems the zombie golems are really slow. The helicopter veeery slowly comes back. "Can't you come quicker helicopter?! That's it! I am hiring a plane!"

Villager 100 then dials the plane phone number and gets an answering machine that says "I am sorry but we are currently all out of available planes."

"GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!! Such bad timing!" Villager 100 exclaimed loudly. He then throws the phone on the ground and it breaks. The helicopter then comes and everyone comes aboard. With 3 villagers that eventually become the golems snacks.

"Villager news is over for today! Next time, don't you DARE start another recording without my permission!!!"

All the villagers said "awww"

Meanwhile at the other village that got over runned by zombies. The baby villager was continuing to play with blocks until finally a zombie notices him. The baby eventually notices the zombie is looking at him. He screams and tries to run away, screaming in the process "DA HELP MEEEEEE!!!"

[JesusIsLord713]

I think every villager news I make keeps getting longer...lol!

[ZappierVirus]

Longer, but funnier! LOL! More More More!

[JesusIsLord713]

(villager news)

(Reporter) "Do do do do do...how much longer will this take villager helicopter?!?!"

"Ah, only a couple more minutes! Which, to us, means a couple more hours."

"WHAAAAAAAT?!?! Ugh! Well anyways...wait a minute...someone turned on the video camera..."

All the villagers looked at him blankly. "Was it you?" villager 100 said "or you? SOMEONE turned on the video camera WITHOUT my permission!!!"

"I don't know who it was" villager 37 said "what I DO know is that the camera is recording, which means you should probably start villager news."

"Ah yes villager news! Well welcome to villager news everyone! We will not be recording in the studio again unfortunately. This is due to the horrible experience at our last village. Where we got terrorized by zombie golems, the iron golem's evil twins. We are currently looking for ANOTHER new place of residence."

"I see another village!" Villager 4 said. Everyone looked over and everyone yelled "That place isn't a village! All it consists is a well, farm, and hut!"

"I see another one right next door!" This village is actually a village. The village is actually a decent size. "Ok helicopter!" Villager 100 said, "We found our destination and we would like to land over at that village!"

The villager who was controlling the helicopter pointed to the hut village and said "that village?"

"No no! THAT village!" villager 100 said, annoyed.

"Sorry" the villager controller said "I have bad eyesight." The helicopter landed and everyone went to the new village. Villager 100 immediately said "Before we do ANYTHING in this village, we will need to build security in case of another terrorizing night."

Everyone went straight to work, they went and mined minerals for armor and weapons, built iron golems, and built defensive walls with dispensers that shoot after crossing tripwire. "This is perfect security!" Villager 100 said

A few days later, their defensive skills get put to the test. 50 zombies and 3 zombie golems spawned outside the village. The zombies said in a groan like way "Let's...kill...the...villagers in...that...village...groooaaan..."

The zombies don't notice the tripwire and step on it. Triggering the dispensers and killing around 20 zombies and severely damaged a golem before the dispensers lost all of their arrows. "Hooray! This is working!" The villagers cheer.

The other zombies break the wall after a few minutes and break into the village. The villagers stand inside their homes shaking uncontrollably while they wait for the zombies to start banging on their doors. The iron golems step in and 2 golems face off against the zombies and the other 3 face off against their evil twins.

The normal zombies get smart and split into 2 groups of 10 zombies and manage to defeat both golems. The golems however made great progress and knocked down the zombie count to 6 zombies. "Crud!" Villager 100 says "This villager news might be the craziest one yet! Get prepared to fight!"

The iron golems face off against the zombie golems. The iron golems say "Your going down! Evil clones!"

The zombie golems exclaim "Sure...try...and fail..."

Then they fight, each golem taking on another. In the 1st part of the battle the iron golem manages to defeat the severely weakened zombie golem. Due to being damaged from the dispensers earlier. The next part of the battle the 2nd iron golem manages to barely defeat the zombie golem. The 3rd part of the battle the zombie golem defeats the iron golem. The other 2 iron golems then team up on the zombie golem. The zombie golem defeats the severely weakened iron golem. However, the other iron golem manages to defeat the zombie golem.

Meanwhile, the normal zombies bang on the villagers doorsteps. The villagers open the doors and fight. 1 villager dies in the process and all the zombies die. "Hooray!" exclaimed all the villagers "We defeated the zombies and their golems!" The villagers then continue to leave peacefully in the village afterwards. Villager 100 says "And that concludes this villager news! Until next time! And no doing the dum dum dum thing villagers!"

"Dum dum dum dum dum dum VILLAGER NEWS" 3 villagers sing.

"ARRRRRRRRRRGHH!!! I told you not to do that!!!"

All the villagers say "awwww".

The baby villager runs away from the village. Eventually reaching the village the other villagers previously evacuated due to the zombie golems. The zombie golems notice and slowly go towards the baby. The baby villager screams "DAAAAAAAAAA HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!"

[BlockHeadLewie]

Poor, poor baby villager.
How dumb can you be?
It would have to be ME asking that, huh?
Such a blockhead...

[JesusIsLord713]

When it comes to in-game villagers they are normally pretty smart. Sometimes though they just make decisions that are just dumb. Such as overcrowding and running straight into a pack of zombies.

[ZappierVirus]

Yeah, regular villagers tend to be mostly smart, but also can make terrible mistakes.

Lol to the villager news! More Villager News please!

[BlockHeadLewie]

Well so much for my joke.
Oh well.
LoL