Christ Centered Gamer

Nope, SPAM SPAM SPAM!

Welcome to Villager News day 3!

(Reporter) "Hello and welcome to Villager News!" (talks to villager 11 in secret) "WHAAAAT!! Are you serious?!?!"

"Yes, I am serious! How have you not noticed by now?!"

"BREAKING NEWS! Somehow our village well spawned in the desert! This caused all our houses, farms, and roads to be built out of sandstone! Despite our houses being in the plains! Villager 77 what do you have to say about this terrible well?"

"Thank you villager 100! As you can see the well has definitely spawned in the desert." (random villager falls inside the well) "HOW many times do I have to tell you villagers!?!? No matter what, don't look into the well!...Am I still on camera?" (Camera zooms in on the villager inside the well) The villager says "hello! It's cool, just taking a quick bath."

"Thank you villager 77. We should take out this disastrous well immediately! Villagers 50 through 60! Take out your pickaxes and destroy the well!"

The villagers look at him with fearful looks. Villager 56 says "um...hate to say it...but...we don't know how to mine blocks."

Villager 100 looks at them shockingly, yelling "I THOUGHT YOU GUYS KNEW HOW TO MINE!

"Wwww.wwwee a.a.a.are s.s.s.soooo sorry!" Then they all run out of the room crying.

"Does anyone in this room know how to mine?" 1 villager raised his stick. Since they can't really raise hands. Villager 100 then said "Well if you can do it then DO IT! I will pay you 5 emeralds for your work."

(10 hours later) "pant pant...am I done yet?"

Villager inspector 1 says "hmm lets see." He inspects and says "Ok are you seriously asking me if your done after only mining 3 blocks? The Villager sighs and breathlessly goes back to work. Finishing in like a week.

"Well that's it for today folks!" 3 villagers come in and say Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun VILLAGER NEWS!"

(Few seconds later) Villager 100 angrily says "That wasn't part of your script villagers! Aarrgh!!!" Camera turns off and then the sound of glass breaking is made.

The villager child said "Sorry pa! I broke your window!" Villager 100 angrily says "Grrrrr!! Child! Stop fooling around and get back to doing your schoolwork!"

Thanks for the laughs!

Sorry for no new villager news lately. If I have time today I will post another one.

(Villager reporter) "Welcome to another great day of villager news! Ah the air is so fresh, isn't it villager 5?"

Villager 5 just stares at him like he is so dumb. Villager 6 comes up to tell him that the air is not fresh and the zombies have placed lava around the village like a moat.

"WHAAAAAT!!!!???? BREAKING NEWS ONCE AGAIN! Our rivals, the zombies, have done something terrible! They have surrounded our precious village with icky, stinky, hot lava! Villager 82 what do you have to say about this terrible lava?!"

Thank you villager 100! As you can see the zombies over here are by the minute increasing the amount of lava there is!"

A zombie then sneaks up behind the villager and pours lava right behind him. "AAAAHHHH why are my clothes on fire?!?! You terrible zombie! I will tear you to shreds!"

Villager 82 attempts to catch up, but burns up in the process. The zombie then touches him and transforms into a zombie villager.

"Oh no! Villager 82 has turned into a evil version of us! We have nowhere to evacuate...THIS IS THE END!!!"

Everyone in the room says "awww"

Just then, there was a knock at the door. Villager 17 answered and said "hello!"

The villager didn't seem interested to chat, instead he was interested in the reporter up on stage. The interesting visitor then took off his disguise and groaned. "Oh no it's a zombie!" Villager 17 said "I should've known! EVERYONE EVACUATE!"

"Are you ridiculous?! We have nowhere to run remember?!"

"Um hello we have a well don't we?" Villager 100 responded with "Oh right duh! Villagers 10-15, take these buckets and take out all the lava immediately!"

They did so, however at the time 50 zombies were waiting to turn the villagers into zombie villagers. The zombies saw their chance and entered the village in huge numbers. Afterwards all the villagers were screaming "AAAHHH!!!"

The reporter states "Until next time! See you next time for villager news!" A zombie then chases the reporter. To which the reporter says "No! Not another zombie!" Then starts running back and forth in the studio fleeing from the zombie.

A villager child then peaks out of his room saying "Was that my pa that just said a zombie was in here? Well I don't see any zombies! So there must be none, YAY!" Then he goes back into his room to continue playing with his blocks. Going unnoticed by the zombie.

LOL
Who needs SPAM airlines, when you have awesome Villager News!!!!!

Glad you like it!

When I went to my notifications and saw that you had replied I was like "Did he make another Villager News? I hope he made another Villager News!!!!!!!"
Sadly, you had replied to my other post. Oh well, can't wait for the next one!

Haha it was late at night and was on my ipad when I replied so I didn't have the time to make one. There is only so much time I have to make one!

Having made over 380ish posts, I think I know a bit about SPAM.
It's addictive.

I think Villager News is addictive and awesome!

Quick question

Do you prefer the villager news on youtube or my villager news I post on here?

I don't know, it is really close. I think I prefer yours because you make them much faster and they are still funny.

YouTube is ok but...
...Well, it's not family. You Rox Sox!

YouTube can be fun to watch, but I enjoy reading and responding to posters on the forums more.