Christ Centered Gamer

A Túrin Turambar turun ambartanen.

Oro just insulted your grandma.

No. You mistranslated. He said that he worships bacon.

GarthVader wrote:No. You mistranslated. He said that he worships bacon.

HEY!!!!!!

does u bloodd?

The Valar and Valier, in modern English:

Manwe: He's the king. His job is to sit on a hill and blow hot gas.

Varda: She made the stars. By splattering gold dew in the sky.

Ulmo: He's in charge of water. Under which he lived. And played music. Underwater.

Aule: He's the god of metallurgy, and is best known for two things. The first is making the dwarves, and the second is teaching Feanor how to build the Silmarils. In other words, it's his fault Middle Earth got screwed over and a couple hundred thousand died.

Yavanna: She stands still and watches plants grow.

Orome: He stabs things.

Vana: Flowers pop up and birds sing when she walks by. Think a hippie Valier.

Mandos/Namo: He babysits dead people.

Vaire: She writes history. Because, you know, it takes a goddess to do that.

Lorien/Irmo: He dreams.

Este: She sleeps. Is married to the above.

Tulkas: Strong guy in a loin cloth. Think Tarzan.

Nessa: Runs around with deer.

Nienna: Cries. The goth Valier.

I'm thinking characters from one of your stories?

GarthVader wrote:I'm thinking characters from one of your stories?

The Silmarrilion.

Ah, okay. I never read it. I started to, but then got busy with other things... I think I'll try it again after I finish the Bourne series...

Well, more specifically, I was mocking the Silmarillion.

And why is that?

Because this is the spam thread and I was bored.

But don't you like the Silmarillion?

If ye can't mock what you like, you have no business mocking other things.

That . . . doesn't make any sense... :p

Basically what I mean is that if you can't criticize what you like, you shouldn't be criticizing other things.