The Joke Thread

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MyNinjaPenguin
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Re: The Joke Thread

Post by MyNinjaPenguin »

Famous old proverb:

He who runs in front of a car gets tired, he who runs behind a car gets exhausted.

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sunsplace
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Re: The Joke Thread

Post by sunsplace »

This is a short one, i had to look it up, I'm not really from the jokes :)

Did you hear the story about the claustrophobic astronaut?


.....




He just needed some space. :P

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CuteRainbowElsa
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Re: The Joke Thread

Post by CuteRainbowElsa »

What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work?







…..




A can’t opener!

ThoseFromHeaven
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Re: The Joke Thread

Post by ThoseFromHeaven »

Seeing as I'm a dad, perfect time for a dad joke:

I can always tell, just by looking, when someone is lying.

I can also tell when they're standing!

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kittycathead
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Re: The Joke Thread

Post by kittycathead »

A communist joke isn't funny unless everyone gets it.

kat2288
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Re: The Joke Thread

Post by kat2288 »

My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.

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kittycathead
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Re: The Joke Thread

Post by kittycathead »

I got fired from the bank today, because an old lady asked to check my balance and I pushed her over

lukider
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Re: The Joke Thread

Post by lukider »

I was at my new house with my friend and he asked "What's up stairs?"
and i responded "Stairs don't talk"

alexnsteve
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Re: The Joke Thread

Post by alexnsteve »

why did the chicken cross the road? To get on GOD'S side, BOOYA!

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TigerElla7
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Re: The Joke Thread

Post by TigerElla7 »

I don't know many jokes but I love puns. The books of the Land of Xanth by Piers Anthony has lots of puns in there, some not too clean. It has one about a plaque with felines posterior on it. and a Tree with toilet paper on it called a toiletry and a lake ogrechobee like lake Okeechobee in Florida but of course its surrounded by ogres. anyway I will retreat to the corner before I start getting rocks thrown at me for my bad puns.

somebodysmom
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Re: The Joke Thread

Post by somebodysmom »

My daughter's favorite joke:

What do you call it when Batman skips church?

Christian Bale/bail...

sarna
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Re: The Joke Thread

Post by sarna »

Polish politics
sadly this is one big joke

CommunistToad
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Re: The Joke Thread

Post by CommunistToad »

No. (Sorry)

pjakeh
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Re: The Joke Thread

Post by pjakeh »

Here's my joke...

The 2019 New England Patriot's playoff run defense...

Wrecked...

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