Famous old proverb:
He who runs in front of a car gets tired, he who runs behind a car gets exhausted.
The Joke Thread
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sunsplace
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This is a short one, i had to look it up, I'm not really from the jokes 
Did you hear the story about the claustrophobic astronaut?
.....
He just needed some space.
Did you hear the story about the claustrophobic astronaut?
.....
He just needed some space.
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CuteRainbowElsa
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What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work?
…..
A can’t opener!
…..
A can’t opener!
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ThoseFromHeaven
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Seeing as I'm a dad, perfect time for a dad joke:
I can always tell, just by looking, when someone is lying.
I can also tell when they're standing!
I can always tell, just by looking, when someone is lying.
I can also tell when they're standing!
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kittycathead
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A communist joke isn't funny unless everyone gets it.
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kat2288
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My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.
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kittycathead
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I got fired from the bank today, because an old lady asked to check my balance and I pushed her over
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lukider
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I was at my new house with my friend and he asked "What's up stairs?"
and i responded "Stairs don't talk"
and i responded "Stairs don't talk"
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alexnsteve
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why did the chicken cross the road? To get on GOD'S side, BOOYA!
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TigerElla7
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I don't know many jokes but I love puns. The books of the Land of Xanth by Piers Anthony has lots of puns in there, some not too clean. It has one about a plaque with felines posterior on it. and a Tree with toilet paper on it called a toiletry and a lake ogrechobee like lake Okeechobee in Florida but of course its surrounded by ogres. anyway I will retreat to the corner before I start getting rocks thrown at me for my bad puns.
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somebodysmom
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My daughter's favorite joke:
What do you call it when Batman skips church?
Christian Bale/bail...
What do you call it when Batman skips church?
Christian Bale/bail...
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sarna
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Polish politics
sadly this is one big joke
sadly this is one big joke
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CommunistToad
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No. (Sorry)
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pjakeh
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Here's my joke...
The 2019 New England Patriot's playoff run defense...
Wrecked...
The 2019 New England Patriot's playoff run defense...
Wrecked...
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JCR1010
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Knock Knock
Who's there
Noah
Noah who
Know a place for dinner.
Who's there
Noah
Noah who
Know a place for dinner.