The Joke Thread

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Lahd
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Re: The Joke Thread

Postby Lahd » Sat Nov 03, 2018 6:13 pm

Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"

Potatosaur
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Re: The Joke Thread

Postby Potatosaur » Sat Nov 10, 2018 4:28 am

Why did the chicken cross the road?


To get to the other side!

Best joke of all time

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kittycathead
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Re: The Joke Thread

Postby kittycathead » Mon Nov 12, 2018 1:20 am

What did the sword tell the man?
Spoiler:
"Lookin' sharp!"

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vandalsblj
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Re: The Joke Thread

Postby vandalsblj » Mon Nov 12, 2018 4:02 am

What do you call a Nun wondering around the Neighborhood?
Spoiler:
A Roaming Catholic

setfree
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Re: The Joke Thread

Postby setfree » Tue Nov 13, 2018 1:39 am

I had to look one up, but this one made me smile:

Q: What do computers eat for a snack?
A: Microchips!

MattNickPooz
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Re: The Joke Thread

Postby MattNickPooz » Fri Nov 16, 2018 8:27 pm

How 'bout a series of "Elephant Jokes"?

Q: How do you shoot a blue elephant?
A: With a blue elephant gun.
Q: How do you shoot a white elephant?
A: Hold his nose until he turns blue, then shoot him with a blue elephant gun.

Q: Why did the elephant fall out of the tree?
A: Because it was dead.
Q: Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree?
A: It was glued to the first one.
Q: Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree?
A: It thought it was a game.
Q: And why did the tree fall down?
A: It thought it was an elephant.

Q: Why do elephants wear sandals?
A: So that they don't sink in the sand.
Q: Why do ostriches stick their head in the ground?
A: To look for the elephants who forgot to wear their sandals.

matthew_com
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Re: The Joke Thread

Postby matthew_com » Thu Nov 22, 2018 7:14 pm

Q. What do pigs put on their cuts?
A. Oinkment!

DizzeyMCdonald
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Re: The Joke Thread

Postby DizzeyMCdonald » Sat Nov 24, 2018 6:35 pm

What did the janitor yell when he was coming out the closet to scare someone? Supplies!!
Why didnt they play cards on the ark? Becuase Noah was standing on the deck!

BelieverInGod88
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Re: The Joke Thread

Postby BelieverInGod88 » Sun Dec 16, 2018 7:25 am

What did the fish say when it swam into the concrete wal? “Dam!”

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Re: The Joke Thread

Postby Pandi_Tech » Mon Jan 14, 2019 3:22 am

"Why are there not any boomerangs at the landfill?"

"I don't know, why?"

"Because every time you throw one into the trash, it just flies back out!"

WorthyGamer
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Re: The Joke Thread

Postby WorthyGamer » Thu Jan 17, 2019 2:50 am

Biology joke, ready?


"Did you hear about the famous microbiologist who traveled in thirty different countries and learned to speak six languages? He was a man of many cultures"


Haha! Get it? No? Here.


"When you breathe, you inspire, and when you do not breathe, you expire."


Anyways, thought those were hilarious! Hope I made you laugh too!

dragondestroyer1
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Re: The Joke Thread

Postby dragondestroyer1 » Sat Jan 19, 2019 8:00 pm

Mother: eat your carrots they are good for you

Kid: then why do I get sick every time I look at them

PigLover64
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Re: The Joke Thread

Postby PigLover64 » Thu Feb 21, 2019 2:10 am

I am terrible at jokes so I always just reference memes. Just go watch the latest Meme Review and subscribe to Pewdiepie for some quality memes. "Christian Channel" guys.

NitroBeast70
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Re: The Joke Thread

Postby NitroBeast70 » Sat Apr 20, 2019 4:24 am

What did the green grape say to the purple grape?


Breathe, stupid!

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Re: The Joke Thread

Postby Emotionartist » Fri Apr 26, 2019 9:37 pm

Q: A pastor, a priest, and a pope walk into a bar. They all say ouch. Why?

A: Well, they walked into a iron bar. That would hurt.


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