Ways to (accidentally) drive off nonbelievers

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Sstavix
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Ways to (accidentally) drive off nonbelievers

Postby Sstavix » Fri Sep 08, 2017 10:08 pm

I mentioned this in another thread, but came across an article that brought it to mind.

Everyone on this planet is different - even identical twins can have variations in their personalities. As a result, we may all have different beliefs, and different ways we've come to those beliefs. And there are some that, for various reasons, choose a different path other than Christianity.

So if we want to serve as missionaries, to go out and spread the "good news" to the world, what would be the best approach to take? Believe it or not, sometimes the things we do in order to attract people to our various churches actually may drive people away. This is hardly our intention, and often we may be completely unaware that we're doing this! But it does happen.

That's the purpose of this thread. So we can discuss our experiences, or articles that we've come across, and discuss them. Here is one article I found that, as an extreme introvert myself, I can identify with. I have found myself in situations like this - and if a church makes someone uncomfortable, it makes it more likely that that person will not return to that church.

Here it is - 10 Church Things That Alienate Introverts.
"All the miseries and evils which men suffer from vice, crime, ambition, injustice, oppression, slavery, and war, proceed from their despising or neglecting the precepts contained in the Bible." -- Noah Webster

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Re: Ways to (accidentally) drive off nonbelievers

Postby evered » Fri Sep 08, 2017 10:44 pm

Okay so.

What I usually do is I say "Hey wanna hang out for 10 minutes?" If they say "sure" I usually talk to them a bit usually just going into a conversation and whatnot and some times give little hints about God. And hopefully start a conversation bout him. Then sooner or later you can go full power mode. "Well, you realize God loves you very much." And whatever.

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Re: Ways to (accidentally) drive off nonbelievers

Postby Sstavix » Sat Sep 09, 2017 12:45 am

So what if they say no, they don't want to hang out?
"All the miseries and evils which men suffer from vice, crime, ambition, injustice, oppression, slavery, and war, proceed from their despising or neglecting the precepts contained in the Bible." -- Noah Webster

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Re: Ways to (accidentally) drive off nonbelievers

Postby evered » Sat Sep 09, 2017 1:35 am

Wait a bit?

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Re: Ways to (accidentally) drive off nonbelievers

Postby Comotto » Sat Sep 09, 2017 1:46 am

This book applies to all relationships, evangelization included not only business.

http://www.dalecarnegie.com/about-us/da ... gie-books/

CARZ

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Re: Ways to (accidentally) drive off nonbelievers

Postby Thomas » Thu Sep 14, 2017 11:36 pm

The best thing I think you can do in this day and age is be yourself. By that I mean, if you want people to do what you do then you have to present yourself as a living advocate of that thing. For examples I'm a vegan however I don't share the same tactics of other vegans that go into fast food places and stage tantrum like protests.

Just be yourself, do what you you feel is correct (with the Lord's guidance obviously) and you'll get them at least talking to you soon enough.

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Re: Ways to (accidentally) drive off nonbelievers

Postby evered » Fri Sep 15, 2017 3:07 am

Actually yeah, when ever I preach or whatever, I get this feeling God's guiding me through my words. So half the time I don't really have to worry! :D

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Re: Ways to (accidentally) drive off nonbelievers

Postby Sstavix » Fri Sep 15, 2017 12:14 pm

Here is another interesting article that I read. I heard Glenn Beck talking with the author about it on his radio show yesterday, so I just had to read it to see if it would fit here. :)

One problem is that our churches and their leaders are not offensive enough. Basically, they aren't providing the kind of spiritual substance that people really need these days. This drives off members because they aren't being fed, and nonbelievers feel no reason to return or explore the church more because they are failing to find the spiritual sustenance that they need in their lives.

You can read the opinion piece here. And lets use this thread to discuss it! If you're a pastor or someone who speaks in church, do you find yourself toning down your sermons or changing your topic because you're afraid of driving people away by discussing controversial things? Or have you wondered about your own pastor doing things like that?

I sometimes wonder if my own church is guilty of this. The LDS church is different than most Christian churches - rather than one person who writes a sermon and delivers it each week, the church leaders ask other members to deliver a talk each week, instead. And the first Sunday of each month is an "open mic" day, as it were, where anyone can come up front to talk about whatever. But most of the talks seem to focus on the content of the scriptures, or the practices of the church. If there are any references to the world outside the church, it's usually in relation to modesty or keeping the Sabbath day holy - which are typically "preaching to the choir" talks, rather than admonitions to people to reflect on their lives and change their ways. If and when they ask me to talk again, I'm going to have to consider my talk carefully, and see if I can come up with something to provoke this kind of response.

Enough of my rambling. What do you think?
"All the miseries and evils which men suffer from vice, crime, ambition, injustice, oppression, slavery, and war, proceed from their despising or neglecting the precepts contained in the Bible." -- Noah Webster

My blog: Writing from Idaho

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Re: Ways to (accidentally) drive off nonbelievers

Postby Comotto » Fri Sep 15, 2017 12:54 pm

If we follow the Good Shepherd, the sheep will follow!

CARZ

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Re: Ways to (accidentally) drive off nonbelievers

Postby ArcticFox » Fri Sep 15, 2017 1:09 pm

Enough of my rambling. What do you think?
The problem is that there's such a fine line between that and political talk in church. Not that political subjects should be taboo per se, but the assumption is that the members of the congregation may have a wide variety of political views. If we bring politics into our Sunday worship, we're going to wind up turning Sunday services into a political forum, and how can we feel the spirit then? How close will we be as brothers and sisters in Christ if, instead of seeing each other as fellow brothers and sisters we see Republican, Democrat, Libertarian, Loony Lefty, Right wingnut, etc...?

But that's the insidious part, isn't it? To a massive extent, issues of morality and politics overlap like never before, and that line is becoming thinner and thinner every day. Some issues are purely political, but some are fully political AND fully moral, like abortion, LGBT issues... what does a Bishop/priest/pastor say about those? Do we just ignore the people in the congregation who are pro-choice but believe, honestly in their heart, that their view is consistent with their religion? (Hard to imagine for some of us, but they're out there.) Do we want to turn a sermon into a pro-life vs pro-choice debate right there in church? I wouldn't go to church if I had that to look forward to.

As you said, the LDS Church is unique in a lot of ways and one of those ways is that we're encouraged to listen to the Holy Spirit when struggling to understand these issues. And if we're doing that, we don't need to be told what our politics should be by the person at the pulpit.

Unfortunately, that does leave us with a lot of bland content on Sunday, which I agree with you on... but I think maybe it's because we're being reinforced in our knowledge and understanding of the basics of the Gospel, so that we can be stronger and better equipped to use our discernment on the more juicy issues. Most of the Mormons I know are pro-life, and yet not once have I ever heard it preached in Church. It doesn't need to be. When your moral compass is pointing in the right direction, everything else attends to itself. Our church doesn't tell us what to think with these issues. It equips us to work that out for ourselves.
"He who takes offense when no offense is intended is a fool, and he who takes offense when offense is intended is a greater fool."
—Brigham Young

"Don't take refuge in the false security of consensus."
—Christopher Hitchens


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