Spam 2...the next thousand pages....

[JesusIsLord713]

(another villager news, sorry it's been a while)

Villager 100 was just taking his afternoon walk around the village when suddenly a villager fired a paintball at him! He ducked just in time and yelled "Hey! Can't you give enough respect for a villager reporter?! hmm?"

Just then, villager 5 came up to him with the microphone and told him it's time to report! Villager 100 says "Oh, ok. Well BREAKING NEWS!!! Just a few moments before I started reporting I was taking a walk and suddenly..." he got fired at again! This time it hit him right in the face!

".....ARRRGHHH THAT HAPPENED! I dodged the last one, this time not so much...where is he?!?!?!"

The police drive at full speed after the villager. After an hour they finally catch him. They find out he is villager 31. He says "I was throwing paintballs so that we can trigger a paintball match!"

Villager 100 thinks about this and says "I accept your challenge, I shall go home and formulate my own team of villagers! Each team shall have up to 7 villagers, including the leader.

Villager 31 says "Alright then! The paintball duel will take place a week from now starting at the well. See you then..."

The villagers go home and formulate their teams. Villager 31 got all his members in less than an hour. Villager 100 was having minor difficulties though.

"Great...breaking news! I cannot seem to get enough members to sign up to be my partners! Currently I have 5 members, including myself for the paintball match! I need 2 more villagers!"

Just then villager 53 comes in with 2 villager children and says "These 2 children would be happy to be members of your paintball team!"

Villager 100 looks down at the children and is not happy with the option he has. Figuring he has no other choice, he accepts the children, in which he trains them to be good paintball shooters.

The day finally comes, and the coach villager comes out and explains the rules. One major rule is that once you take 3 hits...your out! Once he finishes explaining the rules he says "Good luck and have fun!"

The battle begins. Villager 100's team frantically run around the village trying to dodge the paintballs. Due to this 3 of his team members get beat up and out of the game (all adults).

Villager 31's team, feeling confident, says "Try to take out the paintball master!"

Villager 100's team fires and dodges the paintballs. Managing to take out 3 of villager 31's team!

Villager 31 starts to get angry, saying "I must win the position to reporting villager news! Time to bring out ultimate weapon! The paintball cannon!"

Villager 31's team fires the cannon. Villager 100 and the 2 kids barely dodge the blast. The others weren't so lucky and were easily taken out. One of them says "Where are my glasses! I can't see anything!"

Villager 100 says "Crazy villager news eh? Well your about to see the reporter take everyone out!"

Villager 100 runs in and fires, taking out 2 more of villager 31's team. The remaining members so far on villager 100 is villager 100 himself and the 2 kids. On villager's 31 team remains villager 31 himself and 1 other member.

The kids prove useless as they just fire at flowers, grass, and buildings. So villager 31 takes advantage and easily takes the 2 kids out. At the same time villager 100 takes out villager 31's remaining team member.

The 2 remaining villagers meet back up at the well. Villager 31 says slowly "Finally...now I can take you out and take over your job...which was the main purpose I did this paintball challenge. Goodbye villager 100, I hope you enjoy your last few minutes of reporting your final villager news!

Villager 100 said "I don't think so, my job is my life. Nothing will take away my job...EVER!!! You will go to prison for your crime!"

The 2 fight, villager 100 AND villager 31 suffer 2 hits. Villager 31 laughs loudly as he pulls out his paintball cannon to fire at villager 100. He says loudly "My career as the villager reporter starts...NOW!!!!" He then lights the cannon on fire, laughing in the process. However the cannon malfunctions and during it's countdown it points straight up. With villager 31 standing next to the cannon. The cannon fires the paintball goop straight up and before villager 31 can move completely out of the way he gets hit by his own paintball goop. "Wow...all that just to get himself out." villager 100 said.

The coach villager says "Villager 100 wins! Congratulations!"

Villager 31 then is taken to jail by the police. His term in jail is 3 years. He exclaims "Noooo! My job! My wealth! My future! Gone forever!!! Noooo!!!!"

"That wraps up this episode!" Villager 100 says "I'm glad I get to keep reporting villager news! Until next time!"

"Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun VILLAGER NEWS!!!" Everyone exclaim loudly.

"Sigh..." villager 100 says "I guess I'm just gonna have to live with this VERY annoying ending!!!"

Meanwhile the villager child is almost killed by the arrows from the dispensers on the walls of the village. He is then not recognized by the iron golems that he is a baby villager and mistake him for a baby zombie villager. So they chase after him. Saying "Nooo!!! Da help me please!!!!!" Do you think he survived? We shall see next time...

[JesusIsLord713]

Man this one is so long...lol! Worth it though since it's been over a week since I've done my last one!

[ZappierVirus]

It makes up for the wait! You are tied.

[JesusIsLord713]

Sweet thanks!

[Emwok]

Gotta go to space!

[ZappierVirus]

Any incoming Villager News?

[JesusIsLord713]

Sorry about no villager news lately, I haven't had enough time on weekdays to do one. I'll try to get one in tomorrow or Wednesday but can't make any promises.

[ZappierVirus]

Ok, can't wait for one!

[JesusIsLord713]

(Villager News)

Villager 100 is again taking a nice walk through the village. And once again is attacked though this time it's a little different... Villager 100 says "Attacked...AGAIN!? WHY am I always targeted?! Especially in the face??? .......................... OH!! Welcome to villager news! I have terrible news, I just got attacked! Who did this horrible attack?!"

10 villager helicopters come flying in, along with a battleship. The battleship aims for villager 100 and lands next to him. It's the testificates!!! Testificate 100 comes to villager 100 and says slowly "Now...I issue a challenge...we shall battle...if you lose...we take over your village and I take over YOUR job...if you win...you take over our...village..."

Villager 100 is angry and says "My villager news spectators shall now that I will win and I will keep my job and village! As I said previously in villager news...NO ONE SHALL TAKE OVER MY JOB!!!"

Testificate 100 is pleased and says "Good, we will meet here at dawn tomorrow to fight, be ready".

At dawn the next morning the villagers and testificates meet up at the village well. Testificate 100 says "The battle...shall begin! Today will be the day I take over this village and job!"

Villager 100 is not used to normal weapons. So he just fires randomly all around occaisonally hitting testificates. His allies are better at shooting and manage to beat half of testificate 100's army. Villager 100 lost 3 quarters of his army. But Villager 100 makes up for it by firing a cannon and hitting 25% of the other army.

Testificate 100 takes this a step further by firing canons from his battleship. The blows aren't good for the villagers and the rest of Villager 100's army is taken out. However... Villager 100 get's a very lucky shot on the canon and kills the rest of the testificates...though of course testificate 100 survives but is injured. The battleship is also destroyed.

The villagers again meet up at the well, testificate 100 says "gulp...how DARE you! This fight is far from over! This fight will not be finished until you take your last breathe!"

Villager 100 says "I've only been toying with you previously...now you will see what I can really do!"

Both villager 100 and testificate 100 go into separate helicopters and fire lasers at each other. They keep dodging each other and get so far away from the village they reach a jungle! This isn't good for the helicopters and they soon malfunction due to them getting stuck in leaves.

Testificate 100 says "Ok then! If that's how you want to play it then I will beat you the old fashioned way!"

Villager 100 gets ahold of his enemy and punches him. He gets punched back and soon enough they are both low on health. Testificate 100 says "pant pant...this...will beat you...once...and... FOR ALL!!!" He gets his ENORMOUS Cannon and fires at villager 100. Villager 100 goes 2 blocks down into the dirt and dodges it. The cannon bounces all across the valley and due to how hot the cannon is it lights up other cannons back at the village.

Testificate 100 gets very unfortunate and gets hit by all of the cannonballs back at the village...eventually including his own. He says "NOOO!!! This can't be! This can't be!" Then Testificate 100 dies.

All the villagers praise villager 100 for a job well done and life continues as normal in the village. Villager 100 says "That wraps up this villager news! Farewell! AND NO SINGING!"

DUN dun dun dun dun VILLAGER NEWS! Everyone says.

"ARRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"

"Is he angry?" Villager 45 asks. He never got an answer though.

Meanwhile the baby find all the paint goop from the previous battle in the village. The goop is now poisonous and he will have to jump over all and dodge all of the goop to reach the studio! Will he make it? We shall see...

[JesusIsLord713]

I don't know if this one is as great as some of the previous ones...I sorta had to rush this one.

[ZappierVirus]

It was still great!

[BlockHeadLewie]

If you enjoy making these posts, don't let yourself focus on anything you might find negative.
We humans always seem to be our own worst critics.
I think you're doing a great job killing two birds with one stone: You like making stories and people like reading them.
Peace!

[JesusIsLord713]

Another villager news will be posted soon. I don't think I will be able to this week though due to a lot of stuff going on towards the end of week.

[ZappierVirus]

I can't wait!

[BlockHeadLewie]

No choice, Zap. We have to wait!
(Sorry...)