Chuck Norris Facts
Posted: Sat Apr 19, 2014 2:26 pm
I love Chuck Norris facts, so I thought we could get together and share our favorites here for those of you who also love this meme...
Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke....that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
Fear of spiders is arachnophobia, fear of tight spaces is claustrophobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic
If you can see Chuck Norris he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may only have seconds to live.
Chuck Norris has counted to infinity.... twice.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
When a zombie apocalypse starts, Chuck Norris doesn't try to survive. The zombies do.
When Chuck Norris was born he drove his mom home from the hospital.
Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".
Chuck Norris doesn't have good aim. His bullets just know better than to miss.
The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into pre-production. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
The reason the Holy Grail has never been recovered is because nobody is brave enough to ask Chuck Norris to give up his favorite coffee mug.
When Bruce Banner gets mad he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad he turns into Chuck Norris. When Chuck Norris gets mad, run.
When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.
Chuck Norris is the only person on the planet that can kick you in the back of the face.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
Chuck Norris runs Windows 7 on his Etch-a-Sketch.
When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke....that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
Fear of spiders is arachnophobia, fear of tight spaces is claustrophobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic
If you can see Chuck Norris he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may only have seconds to live.
Chuck Norris has counted to infinity.... twice.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
When a zombie apocalypse starts, Chuck Norris doesn't try to survive. The zombies do.
When Chuck Norris was born he drove his mom home from the hospital.
Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".
Chuck Norris doesn't have good aim. His bullets just know better than to miss.
The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into pre-production. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
The reason the Holy Grail has never been recovered is because nobody is brave enough to ask Chuck Norris to give up his favorite coffee mug.
When Bruce Banner gets mad he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad he turns into Chuck Norris. When Chuck Norris gets mad, run.
When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.
Chuck Norris is the only person on the planet that can kick you in the back of the face.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
Chuck Norris runs Windows 7 on his Etch-a-Sketch.
When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.