Chuck Norris Facts

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ArcticFox
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Chuck Norris Facts

Postby ArcticFox » Sat Apr 19, 2014 2:26 pm

I love Chuck Norris facts, so I thought we could get together and share our favorites here for those of you who also love this meme...


Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.

Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke....that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.

Fear of spiders is arachnophobia, fear of tight spaces is claustrophobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic

If you can see Chuck Norris he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may only have seconds to live.

Chuck Norris has counted to infinity.... twice.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

When a zombie apocalypse starts, Chuck Norris doesn't try to survive. The zombies do.

When Chuck Norris was born he drove his mom home from the hospital.

Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".

Chuck Norris doesn't have good aim. His bullets just know better than to miss.

The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into pre-production. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.

The reason the Holy Grail has never been recovered is because nobody is brave enough to ask Chuck Norris to give up his favorite coffee mug.

When Bruce Banner gets mad he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad he turns into Chuck Norris. When Chuck Norris gets mad, run.

When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.

Chuck Norris is the only person on the planet that can kick you in the back of the face.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

Chuck Norris runs Windows 7 on his Etch-a-Sketch.

When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
"He who takes offense when no offense is intended is a fool, and he who takes offense when offense is intended is a greater fool."
—Brigham Young

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Emwok
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Re: Chuck Norris Facts

Postby Emwok » Sat Apr 19, 2014 3:01 pm

When Chuck Norris got bitten by a poisonous spider, they had to take the spider to the animal hospital.
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LAVA89
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Re: Chuck Norris Facts

Postby LAVA89 » Sat Apr 19, 2014 7:56 pm

Two of my favorites:
One time Chuck Norris drove to Madagascar, riding a chariot pulled by two electric eels.

Chuck Norris was born in the house he built.

One I came up with:
The "Rambo" movies are actually a biography of Chuck Norris, but as an attempt to show his more sensitive side.

Adrilaron
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Re: Chuck Norris Facts

Postby Adrilaron » Fri Aug 01, 2014 2:40 am

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't pushing himself up - he's pushing the earth away.

Chuck Norris died 10 years ago... seriously! Death just hasn't had the courage to tell him yet.

Chuck Norris CAN judge a book by its cover.

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captinbloks
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Re: Chuck Norris Facts

Postby captinbloks » Sat Oct 10, 2015 8:30 pm

Nice. I've heard the first one before and it's funny!

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Re: Chuck Norris Facts

Postby Dynim » Sat Sep 30, 2017 3:36 am

Two of my favorites:
One time Chuck Norris drove to Madagascar, riding a chariot pulled by two electric eels.

Chuck Norris was born in the house he built.

One I came up with:
The "Rambo" movies are actually a biography of Chuck Norris, but as an attempt to show his more sensitive side.
I love the second one... "Born in the house he built"

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kittycathead
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Re: Chuck Norris Facts

Postby kittycathead » Sun Jan 07, 2018 2:38 am

Chuck Norris is the reason ninjas hide.

Pedro voted for Chuck Norris.

Godzilla is Chuck Norris's pet lizard.

Chuck Norris once struck Thunder.

I can't post another Chuck Norris fact or he'll kill me. Go figure.

I don't know why he hasn't killed me yet!

funnyman766
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Re: Chuck Norris Facts

Postby funnyman766 » Mon Jan 08, 2018 9:43 pm

All of them are hilarious!


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