I gotta admit, even I find that a little bit awkward.

[Chozon1]

So, my mom is having knee surgery this Friday. Just a minor, arthroscopic thing to repair her knee a bit (presently, it will not function without collapsing). So I get the bright idea to put Batman: The Animated Series onto my PSP, since I received the DVD's for Christmas and haven't managed to watch them yet, and what better time to focus on crime fighting when sitting in a hospital waiting room?

Problem is, though DVD rippination is a relatively simple procedure, I haven't performed it on a PC running Ubuntu. I knew how to work it for XP, and even Vista, and figured it wouldn't be all that different in levels of difficulty.

...I don't even need one of foreshadowy comments here, do I?

Fact is, you can't use the standard methods used on Windows with Linux. I won't go into detail, since it's a vaguely sort of legal process, but suffice to say it's different; the methods of acquisition are also different, but the deed was done easily, once I figured it out.

So I try Handbrake (which is a completely legal encoder), to no success; won't pick up the disc, and when it does, for some reason it won't allow me to start the burning process. I have the hideous feeling that it's something idiotically simple that I'm missing; apart from the "there's an eel behind me, isn't there", feelings I get sometimes, I would rank this to be one of the worst feelings ever.

Pudding in your pants is bad too, but this tirade is not about my list of feelings. I have a blog for that.

So after an hour or so of phailure, I tried Brasero, the standard Ubuntu disc burner. Found the DVD, begins to copy. Oh glorious day, caloo, callay. I leave it safely in the hands of the computer and wander off to begin charging my PSP. Problem is, I can't find the charging cord. Actually in truth I found the cord, but only half of it.

Keep in mind, it is around 2:30AM, so I'm like a jackal this whole time, stealthing it up; after some minutes of fruitless searching, I proceed back up the steps and search the halls once more. Oddly, my cable is still missing. My dad has the bad habit of finding random cables and hiding them around the house like some sort of deranged squirrel. Not intentionally, mind you; just while cleaning, he'll pick them up and place them somewhere and forget.

But, I managed to find another one that fit; the benefits of having odd bits of tech around the house (it occurs to me at the present time what the odds are of that happening, so it may actually be the correct cable, and I've had a blond moment). So I returned to my den of solitude, and find a copying error on my desktop.

Because really, I wouldn't write a tirade if things had gone successfully, now would I?

So I tried it again; the deuce.

Desperation (or at least exasperation) sets in at this point, so I Google various things related to disc burners on Linux. Find several, and decide to give AcidRip a shot.

I am finding out more and more that I am apparently totally computer illiterate; the GUI that pops up is garglemesh to me. But I work through it and set it up for a format that'll work on the PSP.

Two minutes later, "process complete".

Now, see, I doubt that. The computer I'm using is running a current version of Ubuntu, but the hardware is 7 years old or so; no way the processor and DVD drive can rip and encode a few gigs of data that quickly. I check the video folder...nerp. Nothing there. Try it a again, just for kicks, and a few seconds later, "process complete".

I'm not a genius obviously, but again, I just had some doubts.

So then I decide to go with the idiots method I am used to: installing Windows and using the method I know. Because truly, Windows is a last resort, no?

There's always Mac, too...which probably really would rip a DVD in two minutes. And function as it did so. Daggit.

So I look up how to install Windows on a thumb drive, because I've dual booted before, and wanted to see if I could streamline the method any by using a USB drive. I eventually decide I'll just see if I can get Windows to see a thumbdrive as the hard-drive and install normally. Doesn't feel like it would be that easy, since computer gremlins work tirelessly to make things harder than they need to be, but I am an unbridled optimist (at least for 20 minutes).

So I reach into my disc drawer and search for the disc, the Windows XP disc that I always take care of, and never will lose because it's hard to find now and I frequently need it.

I swear I didn't lose it; it was the stupid gremlins again.

So, remembering I saw it on my floor a few weeks back and...probably...picked it up and put it someplace safe, I begin searching the two-yard area surrounding my desk (generally, this is the butter zone in which my random "I'll just put this up later" throws hit; turns out that deranged squirrel thing is genetic), and find nothing. I decide to search my top desk drawer too, since you never know, I may have put it someplace logical (Hey, weird things can happen in the cave of solitude).

I begin rifling through the various papers, computer pieces, games, offal and randomnity that make up my drawer.

Now, living in the country, it should be no surprise to you that we have mice living within our walls; in truth, I believe every home in America (save, perhaps, the ones in extremer climates) has mice. They are inexorable; kill them, chase them, plead with them, threaten to force them into a democratic republic, whatever; they move in and breed like, well, rodents. And also in truth, I tend to be an advocate for them. We kill them off in hideously cruel ways that no "humane" human would dare think of with larger, "cute" animals. Imagine putting down a horse by crushing its neck/face/body with a large metal spring, or gluing its body to the floor. Not a pretty image, really.

Allow me to step off my soapbox.

So Mice happen, and usually their population is controlled by the methods aforementioned. The thing is, I noticed an inordinate amount of shredded paper in my drawer. Being part squirrel, apparently, some is normal for me. But after I began to notice other signs of life (the ones humans usually flush down the turlet, for example), I began to believe something was wrong here. I should probably open that drawer more often.

Turns out the Micelingtons had made a nice home in my desk. I don't blame them, really. Warm, safe, lots of reading material, and I don't make a bad neighbor. Shredded paper, bits of a sack, had been shredded intoa nice little nest. I considered pulling it out and tossing it immediately, since it looked abandoned. But frankly, I've done the whole "take care of baby mice" thing before with sad results, and have no wish to do it again, so after staring at it quite severely for a few moments, I gave up. There's only so many times I can fail before I sit down and cr--

Er, I mean, step back and think up a new approach. I shut the drawer and grumped into my chair. I've no CD, no ability to work Linux, and neighbors that are lowering the income of my cave of manlitude and filling it with all manner of ungentle smells, unleashed by the cracking open of my desk. Not to mention the presence of a nest means some "uncouth" activity went on in my desk...I'm so disgusted by that thought. I kind of want to sleep on the couch tonight...

Anyway. I guess I could charge rent; but I'd have to provide utilities and I'm not sure what currency mice use.

The Euro, I 'spose.

So now, I have the fun of looking forward to a rather severe cleaning of my room and desk; because how messy does something need to be when rodents consider it prime real estate? XD

The point is, don't be a squirrel; it's 6:30 AM, I'm tired, weirded out, hungry, and have absolutely nothing to show for the last four hours effort but a messy desk and a grumpy attitude.

CURSE YOU COMPUTER PROGRAMS THAT DON'T SUBMIT TO MY WILL.

[ccgr]

Fun read! Good luck ripping your DVD. Sorry about the mice I'd clean that drawer out and get a cat.

[ArcticFox]

Hilarious post dude, but I am sorry for your frustration...

[baconisgood23]

That is hilarious.
Good luck with the DVD thing.

[Chozon1]

Failed. Multiple times. With multiple discs, programs, and rants.

I believe the problem is a hardware issue, akshually. I managed to use Brasero and get several partial clips from Batman and another DVD I tried (Extreme Days), but it would never finish the burning...the drive is probably...5-7 years old?

Regardless, I gave one of those "book" things I keep hearing about a shot. Took me awhile to learn the controls, but once I did I was not lost on the irony of reading "Dante's Inferno" while sitting in a hospital waiting room.

Though upon reconsideration, perhaps "purgatory" would have been more appropriate.

[cappyys]

Good luck with this DVD thing, but it sure sounds frustrating....but interesting.

[LegoFan560]

Spoiler:

I realize this is a month old but I saw it and had to post...

So, remembering I saw it on my floor a few weeks back and...probably...picked it up and put it someplace safe, I begin searching the two-yard area surrounding my desk (generally, this is the butter zone in which my random "I'll just put this up later" throws hit; turns out that deranged squirrel thing is genetic), and find nothing. I decide to search my top desk drawer too, since you never know, I may have put it someplace logical (Hey, weird things can happen in the cave of solitude).

Did I write this? Because that sounds extremely familiar. On my desk there are papers 6" high in some places with a little flat area with only a few papers on it where my mouse sits. =P

[Emwok]

Lol!!! Sounds like me trying to figure out how to fix the Internet when I have absolutely no idea what's wrong.