"Stargate: Atlantis" Spec Script

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selderane
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"Stargate: Atlantis" Spec Script

Postby selderane » Tue Oct 23, 2012 6:15 pm

I thought it would be nifty to post a spec I wrote in 2008 when I had dreams of writing Stargate episodes. I think it's good I can see a lot I'd go back and rewrite, but there's a fair bit more I still enjoy. I'm pretty proud of this thing.

This episode would have taken place during season four. I wrote it in Final Draft.

TEASER:
Spoiler:

Code: Select all

STARGATE: ATLANTIS "Vengeance" TEASER FADE IN: EXT. FOREST CLEARING - DAY TEYLA and RONON are pinned down behind a small mound of LOGS and ROCKS in the middle of a CLEARING. BLUE ENERGY BLASTS fly around them, all seeming near misses. Popping out from behind TREES we see 6 MEN taking shots at our two heroes. TEYLA We cannot remain here for much longer. RONON You see a way out? TEYLA (resigned) No. We were lucky to find cover here. There is no guarantee we would be so lucky again. RONON Good thing I don't rely on luck. Ronon pops up and squeezes off two shots from his weapon before falling back to the ground. The man Ronon shot at takes cover behind his tree again letting it absorb the impact. RONON (CONT'D) Did I hit him? TEYLA No. He took cover. RONON Lucky. TEYLA Would you mind if I call for support now? A shot from the bad guys hits near Ronon, covering him in tree splinters. RONAN (deadpan) Feel free. INT. STARGATE OPERATIONS - DAY SHEPPARD is zipping up his field vest when 6 MARINES come up to him. The stargate has already been dialed up and shimmers like a pool of water. SHEPPARD We got two of our own taking heavy fire. They have cover but it won't last and they're two klicks from the gate. So we double-time it to them. Any questions? The marines are motionless but seem eager to get through the gate. Sheppard chambers a round into his P-90. SHEPPARD (CONT'D) Strong silent types. I like that. (beat) Let's go! Sheppard turns and steps into the event horizon. PLAY WORMHOLE TRAVEL STOCK FOOTAGE EXT. FOREST - DAY ON STARGATE Sheppard steps out of the stargate event horizon, closely followed by the 6 marines that met with him earlier. They file out past him and take up defensive positions around the gate. BACK TO SCENE Sheppard moves away from the gate and taps his headset radio. SHEPPARD (into radio) Teyla, Ronon, come in, over. TEYLA (over radio) John, it is good to hear your voice. Over the radio, behind Teyla's voice we hear rapid energy blasts. SHEPPARD (into radio) Yeah, yours too. What's your status? INTERCUT: EXT. FOREST CLEARING - DAY Ronon comes down onto the ground HARD, followed by numerous BLUE ENERGY BLASTS. He's grinning widely. TEYLA Sheppard requests a status update. RONON We're just a having some fun, that's all. TEYLA (into radio) Did you get that? Sheppard rolls his eyes and moves forward, motioning for the marines to follow. SHEPPARD (into radio) I got that. Keep your head down. I've got a team of marines with me and we're coming to you. Teyla sits still while Ronon does his best to keep the bad guys at bay. This usually means firing blindly over his shoulder or popping up and down quickly to try to get off a lucky shot. TEYLA (into radio) We'll be here. RONON How far out are they? TEYLA Sheppard did not say. They cannot be far from the stargate. RONON We have to do something. TEYLA Is that wise? We're outnumbered and our cover is poor as it is. RONON It's not going to take long for them to realize we can't move and they position themselves to flank us. TEYLA What is it you suggest? RONON What is it Sheppard says about a good defense? TEYLA Sheppard says a lot of things that do not make sense. The grin on Ronon's face tells Teyla there's no convincing him otherwise. It doesn't make things any better that he's probably right. Then, at that moment, the firing stops. Ronon peeks through a gap in their cover and RONON'S POV sees a man gesturing wildly, telling his men to move out. BACK TO SCENE TEYLA (CONT'D) What do you see? RONON They're moving to flank. It's now or we die. TEYLA Okay. I'll cover you. Ronon and Teyla come up out of their cover and open fire. Ronon takes out the man giving the gestures in a single shot. He swings his gun around in time to see another man take aim at Teyla. He grabs her shoulder in an attempt to move her from danger. RONON Get down! It's too late. Teyla takes a BLUE ENERGY SHOT directly to her chest. The kinetic energy throws her back and into Ronon. Ronon catches himself, and Teyla, and takes out the man that shot Teyla with a shot of his own. But the odds are too great against and Ronon takes two BLUE ENERGY BLASTS - one to his chest and another to his spine. His expression falls and his body follows. MOMENTS LATER: EXT. FOREST CLEARING - DAY Sheppard and his marines come upon the clearing Ronon and Teyla were holed up. They see 4 MEN in the center standing over something. One of the men is crouched down, attending to something on the ground. Sheppard motions for the marines to circle the position. Once the marines are where they need to be Sheppard radios Teyla. SHEPPARD (whispering into radio) Teyla, we're in position, what's your status? There's no answer. Sheppard curses under his breath and checks his cover before calling out to the strange men. SHEPPARD (CONT'D) You are surrounded. Put down your- He can't finish the sentence before the 4 men open fire into the forest. SHEPPARD (CONT'D) Take them down! Together Sheppard and the marines make short work of the remaining men. SHEPPARD (CONT'D) (motioning) Check your fire! Check your fire! There's no movement in the clearing. SHEPPARD (CONT'D) Move forward! Everyone comes out from their cover and into the clearing. Sheppard addresses a marine near him. SHEPPARD (CONT'D) Check the bodies. The marine complies and goes off. Sheppard keeps his gaze out into the forest. MARINE 1 Medic! Sheppard turns as another marine rushes to the first marine's position. The medic quickly gets to work on a body. Sheppard moves to his position. SHEPPARD What is it? The medic looks up, his face like stone. MARINE MEDIC I'm sorry, sir. They're gone. ANGLE ON TEYLA AND RONON The medic pulls his fingers away from Teyla's neck. Teyla and Ronon both, their bodies, are limp and lifeless. BACK TO SCENE On Sheppard's expression we... FADE OUT. END OF TEASER
ACT 1:
Spoiler:

Code: Select all

ACT 1 FADE IN: MAIN TITLES EXT. FOREST CLEARING - DAY A FULL MEDICAL TEAM from Atlantis is on the scene. As well as more marines. DR. KELLER is talking to some of her staff then comes over to Sheppard, who is keeping to himself off to the side, his face pained. KELLER Colonel? SHEPPARD Any news? KELLER No, I'm sorry. I'm sure we'll learn more back on Atlantis. (beat) Their clothes are burned where... She sees Sheppard's expression and let's her voice trail off. KELLER (CONT'D) I'm sorry, John. SHEPPARD (sharply) Yeah, I'm hearing that a lot lately, Doc. Keller, feeling the rebuke, pulls back and turns to walk away. Sheppard realizes his mistake and is quick to stop Keller from leaving. SHEPPARD (CONT'D) I'm sorry. That wasn't fair. You're just trying to help and I'm... being an ***. KELLER No, it's okay. I know you were close to both of them. Many people on Atlantis were. This won't be easy for anyone. SHEPPARD Right. I know. KELLER (carefully) Listen, John, if you need to talk... SHEPPARD Thanks but I wouldn't bother you like- KELLER Me? Oh, no, I wasn't talking about me. There's Doctor- SHEPPARD Heightmeyer, right! KELLER I mean, if you wanted to talk to me I'd be fine with it. I don't mind. I just thought you might be more comfortable... with a professional. SHEPPARD You're right. You're absolutely right. I'll think about that. Thanks. KELLER Okay. Good. (beat) My team and I are heading back. Anything I should tell Colonel Carter? SHEPPARD We're going to do a search of the immediate area, see if anything turns up. KELLER What about the village? SHEPPARD Teyla said her people knew them. I think it would be best if we talk to a few Athosians before we hit the village. (beat) She might not have known them as well as she thought. KELLER Right. That's a good idea. (concerned) See you on Atlantis later then? SHEPPARD Yeah. I don't want to be here longer than I have to. Keller walks away leaving Sheppard to his thoughts. SOMETIME LATER: EXT. FOREST - DAY (WITH SHEPPARD) Sheppard is walking through the forest letting the nose of his P-90 lead the way. His eyes dart back and forth scouring the ground for near-invisible details that might give him a clue as to what happened and why. MARINE 1 (over radio) Colonel Sheppard come in, over. Sheppard takes a knee, tree defending his back, and clicks on his headset. He never averts his gaze from the horizon - ever watchful. SHEPPARD (into radio) This is Sheppard. What have you got? EXT. FOREST - DAY (WITH MARINE) The marine is standing away from the body of one of the men that was attacking Teyla and Ronon. Another marine is inspecting the corpse. MARINE 1 (into radio) We've found a body a few hundred yards from the battle site. Looks like he took a hit and crawled away. SHEPPARD (over radio) What hit him? MARINE 1 (into radio) An energy weapon. The size of the hole reminds me of Ronon's hand cannon. (beat) But if this guy made it this far out we don't know if anyone else could be out here. Or how many. EXT. FOREST - DAY (WITH SHEPPARD) Sheppard considers his options then decides a course of action. SHEPPARD (into radio) Okay, get your team together and get back to Atlantis. I'm going to look around some more. (beat) Tell Colonel Carter I'll be back in an hour. Sheppard out. With that Sheppard moves on. LATER: EXT. FOREST - DAY (WITH SHEPPARD) Through a NUMBER OF CUTS we follow Sheppard making his way through the forest as quietly, but quickly, as he can until he reaches the edge. SHEPPARD'S POV In the DISTANCE we can make out a small village. Several PLUMES OF SMOKE are rising from it. It could just be from mundane sources, or evidence of something more sinister. We can't tell from this vantage. BACK TO SCENE Sheppard considers his options as we... FADE TO: EXT. ATLANTIS - DAY The ocean laps lazily at the edges of the city on this beautiful sunny day. CUT TO: INT. ATLANTIS - MEDICAL BAY CRANE SHOT FROM ABOVE COMING DOWN MEDICAL TECHNICIANS are moving equipment around as quickly as they can muster while six bodies are wheeled in on gurneys by marines. KELLER (O.S.) No, I want those two over... CRANE TURNS ONTO KELLER Keller is the last into the room, squeezing past a marine moving the gurney with Teyla on it, and pulls back a curtain revealing a small, clean workspace. KELLER I want Teyla and Ronon over here. The MARINES comply and roll them both into the space then leave. KELLER (CONT'D) Thank you. A medical technician approaches Keller. MED TECH Doctor Keller, what do you want us to do with the others? KELLER Go over them with a fine toothed comb. If there's anything on them that might tell us what happened we need to find it. Check their blood, check their clothes, check their DNA, hair, fingers and toes. Check everything. This takes top priority. The med tech nods and goes off to a huddled group of other med techs and passes on the orders. Keller turns and regards Teyla and Ronon's bodies. KELLER (CONT'D) (to herself) This takes top priority. FADE TO: INT. STARGATE OPERATIONS - CARTER'S OFFICE A marine is standing at ease in front of CARTER'S desk and she herself is standing. MCKAY enters as she dismisses the marine. CARTER Thank you. You're dismissed. The marine snaps off a crisp salute, one Cater returns, and turns on his heel and exits past McKay who offers a quick greeting. MCKAY Hey. The marine doesn't reply and moves on. MCKAY (CONT'D) What's his problem? CARTER He's taking it pretty hard, that's all. MCKAY (puzzled) Taking what hard? CARTER You haven't heard? MCKAY Heard what? (beat) I've been trying this sensory depravation exercise I read about awhile back and I have to tell you it's really remarkable. (beat) You see, you shut out all external sensory input for short periods of time and it's supposed to help focus the mind. (beat) Of course it has to be for really, really short periods of time because, as I'm sure you know, it is a means of torture and will cause even the most strong willed people to blubber like a baby in no time at all. But I'm fairly certain in short sessions it may- Carter puts her hand up to stop him. CARTER McKay... MCKAY Hmm? CARTER (gently) It's Ronon and Teyla. MCKAY (oblivious) What about them? CARTER They were attacked, Rodney. They didn't make it. MCKAY (laughing) You are talking about our Ronon and Teyla, right? (motioning) You know, the big guy with the big arms, carries a big gun. And the plucky girl... hits hard. CARTER I'm sorry, McKay. Sheppard and his team got there too late to do anything. McKay is stunned into silence and takes a seat. MCKAY Oh my God. I, I can't believe this. (beat) Do you know how? CARTER Doctor Keller is going over their... them now. She'll report her findings as soon as she's found something. MCKAY Sheppard? CARTER He's still in the field. MCKAY Oh. Right. (wryly) First Carson now Teyla and Ronon. Not a long life expectancy here, huh? CARTER (sympathetic) Rodney... MCKAY Would you look at that? I made a joke. Not a good joke, yes, but a joke nonetheless. Humor can be a form of denial so I guess I'm right on schedule with that whole grief thing. CARTER Do you want me to contact Doctor Heightmeyer? MCKAY No, no... that's okay. I know where to find her. We go back. Had a woman in me once. Well, not in me but her consciousness in my mind. It was unnerving but I think I took away something positive from the experience. (beat) You know I kissed Carson, right? Well, it wasn't me, it was her, but it was still my body. CARTER Rodney. MCKAY Right. There I go again. More of that denial bit. Keep talking and maybe it won't be real. I get it. CARTER If you need anything you know you only have to ask. OFF SCREEN we hear the stargate dialing up. CARTER (CONT'D) That's should be Sheppard and his team. I'm sure he'd like to see a friendly face. MCKAY Me? Oh, right. McKay and Carter leave the office and... TRACKING: INT. STARGATE OPERATIONS We follow them into Stargate Operations proper. ON STARGATE The last symbol lights and the event horizon forms in the sideways flush we've all seen. BACK TO SCENE Carter and McKay walk up behind a MAN OPERATING the stargate controls. CARTER Sheppard? OPERATOR His team. CARTER What do you mean? Where's Sheppard? OPERATOR You should ask them. ON STARGATE Sheppard's marine team exits the gate and it disengages as soon as the last soldier is back. SWISH PAN TO STAIRS UP TO STARGATE OPERATIONS Carter and McKay both come down the stairs and stop in front of the MARINE TEAM. CARTER Report, Lieutenant. MARINE 1 We found another body out there, Ma'am. Looked like he took a hit from Ronon's weapon and crawled away but given we don't know how many hostiles were engaged in the battle Colonel Sheppard ordered us back to Atlantis. MCKAY That sounds smart. CARTER The Colonel's status? MARINE 1 He said he was going to investigate further and be back in an hour. (looks at watch) That was 10 minutes ago. CARTER Thank you, Lieutenant. You and your men are dismissed. The marine nods and he and his men file past and OFF SCREEN. CARTER (CONT'D) (to Operator) Dial up Sheppard. I want to know what he's doing. The operator nods and OFF SCREEN we HEAR the stargate being dialed. EXT. VILLAGE - AFTERNOON ESTABLISHING WIDE ON VILLAGE It's the same village Sheppard spotted earlier, but with more PLUMES OF SMOKE. INT. VILLAGE - AFTERNOON Sheppard is darting between small huts trying to avoid being seen. It's rather easy as there doesn't appear to be anyone around. Doors to huts are wide open and various objects, baskets, tables, chairs, et al, are strewn about the ground like a riot just cleared out. CRANE ON VILLAGE SQUARE FROM ABOVE. There's a roaring fire in the center of the wide open square. To the LEFT OF FRAME we see Sheppard, P-90 at the ready, sneaking up on the edge of a hut, just hidden from view. TIGHT ON SHEPPARD He raises his weapon to aim and peeks around the corner. SHEPPARD'S POV Nothing. It's like a ghost town. Tumbleweed blowing through would almost seem appropriate. BACK TO SCENE Sheppard moves back to the cover of the hut and looks lost for a moment before his radio goes off. CARTER (over radio) Sheppard, this is Atlantis, please report. Sheppard gets a look on his face like he's just been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. SHEPPARD (into radio) Atlantis, this is Sheppard, nothing to report at the moment. Everything is quiet. INTERCUT: INT. STARGATE OPERATIONS Carter is standing next to the operator and looking out into the empty space between herself and the stargate. McKay is listening intently. CARTER Your team arrived just a few moments ago. They tell me you ordered them back because of possible hostiles in the area. SHEPPARD (over speakers) That is correct. CARTER And you thought it was safe for you to stay back. Alone? Please explain that to me, Colonel. Sheppard, growing desperate for an excuse, looks around and his gaze falls to the ground. ON GROUND AT SHEPPARD'S FEET There's a large log and clumps of dry leaves and other debris. BACK TO SCENE Sheppard crouches down and take a pile of leaves into his hands and begins rolling it in his palms near the microphone of his radio. SHEPPARD (into radio) Atlantis... signal... up... please repeat... can't... The noise on Atlantis' end sounds like some kind of interference but McKay looks more puzzled than anyone else. CARTER (to Operator) What is that? OPERATOR Seems like some kind of interference but it's not originating on our end. MCKAY (motioning) It sounds like he's crunching dry leaves or something next to the transmitter. Carter's face goes red. McKay sees her reaction and realizes that's exactly what Sheppard is doing and Carter knows it. MCKAY (CONT'D) He's crunching leaves next to the transmitter. That's mature. CARTER Colonel Sheppard, whatever you're trying to do will only succeed in getting you killed. Sheppard is still crouched and rubbing leaves in his palms near his microphone when he hears A COMMOTION around the corner, toward the village square. SHEPPARD (into radio - quickly) Not receiving... try... hours. Sheppard clicks off his radio and peeks around the corner. SHEPPARD'S POV He sees a LARGE MAN, wearing similar clothing as the men that killed Teyla and Ronon, chasing A BOY no older than 12 through the village square. And they're coming right in his direction. BACK TO SCENE Sheppard looks at his P-90 then decides against using the weapon. SHEPPARD (CONT'D) Crap. He glances back then looks around again for options. He spots the log and picks it up, testing its weight. SHEPPARD (CONT'D) Yes. This should work. He presses up hard against the side of the hut and readies the log. Shortly, the boy rounds the corner and Sheppard sticks out his foot to trip him. The boy tumbles to the ground and with all his strength Sheppard swings the log into the face of the boy's assailant. The man doesn't stand a chance and is instantly knocked out. While Sheppard is making sure the man is out the boy recovers and is scrambling to his feet. Sheppard quickly goes to him and pulls him up by an arm. The boy starts screaming and flailing. EDORAS Let go of me! Let go of me! He lands a solid kick onto Sheppard's shin. Sheppard jumps but doesn't lose grip of the boy. SHEPPARD (harshly) Will you stop that! Do you want everyone to find you? Edoras calms and regards Sheppard cautiously. EDORAS You're not one of them? You're not going to take me? SHEPPARD If I were why would I take that guy out? Right? EDORAS Right... SHEPPARD Good. If I let go are you gonna stay put? Edoras nods. SHEPPARD (CONT'D) Okay. Sheppard lets go and watches the kid for a moment expecting him to bolt. When he doesn't he turns his attention to his own wounded shin. SHEPPARD (CONT'D) That hurt. EDORAS (regarding the knocked out man) I thought you were one of them. SHEPPARD Who are they? EDORAS You don't know? They're everywhere. SHEPPARD Well, I get around. Can't seem to stay in one place to long. (beat) So? EDORAS They're slave traders. SHEPPARD What? EDORAS We came to this world a few generations ago trying to escape them. We thought we made it far enough. That they wouldn't find us. SHEPPARD So they took everyone in your village? EDORAS No, not everyone. A lot escaped into the forest. But my family did not. And some other families. SHEPPARD Slavers. Great. EDORAS (excited) You have to help! You have to save them! There isn't much time. SHEPPARD Whoa there fella. I don't know what you think but dropping one thug chasing a kid is a lot different then taking on bunch of guys with guns. EDORAS But if they get off the planet I'll never see them again. SHEPPARD Listen, I have people that can help. If we can get to the stargate I- EDORAS It'll be too late. If they get back to the other traders they'll come in more ships. They'll find everyone. Can your people stop all of them? SHEPPARD Well I don't know about that... EDORAS (resigned) Then we're all dead. It would have been better if you let him take me. Edoras goes to walk away but Sheppard grabs his arm again. SHEPPARD Fine. I'll see what I can do. EDORAS Really!? CLOSE ON SHEPPARD'S FACE He knows what he's about to do is wildly stupid but he doesn't see another option. SHEPPARD Yeah. Really. FADE OUT. END OF ACT 1
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Re: "Stargate: Atlantis" Spec Script

Postby selderane » Tue Oct 23, 2012 6:18 pm

ACT 2:
Spoiler:

Code: Select all

ACT 2 FADE IN: EXT. ATLANTIS - DAY We PUSH IN on Atlantis' CENTRAL TOWER on whatever level the MEDICAL BAY is until it takes up the ENTIRE FRAME. INT. ATLANTIS - MEDICAL BAY Keller is in the room with the bodies of Teyla and Ronon and she's wearing full surgical scrubs. There is ELECTRONIC MONITORING EQUIPMENT on the one side of the bed Teyla is on and Keller is on the opposite. She's running a SCANNER over Teyla's body and watching a MONITOR that is tracking her movements with the scanner, feeding her information. Keller is speaking aloud her findings to an unseen recorder. KELLER Initial scans show no signs of lacerations or blunt trauma. All organs appear healthy and free from infection. There is singeing to the clothing of the subject... Keller pauses and takes a moment to keep her welling emotions in check. KELLER (CONT'D) Teyla's clothing is damaged in a pattern consistent with taking an energy discharge to the breast. ANGLE ABOVE TEYLA'S BODY Keller parts the damaged clothing just enough to reveal the damage underneath. Nothing more is exposed to preserve the woman's dignity. BACK TO SCENE KELLER (CONT'D) Skin directly under damaged portions of clothing shows slight reddening and swelling that further supports cause of death being the result of an energy discharge. Keller straightens up then, very gently, covers the exposed skin back over. KELLER (CONT'D) Pause recording. A quick CHIRP tells us it has been done. Keller pulls over a small stool and takes a seat next to her friend. ANGLE ON KELLER AND TEYLA FROM THE SIDE Keller reaches over and brushes a few strands of hair from Teyla's face and then the dam breaks. She cries out and buries her face next to Teyla's. ANGLE ABOVE THEM BOTH, PULLING BACK WIDE Keller looks incredibly alone. Her muffled tears fade as we... FADE TO: INT. VILLAGE - AFTERNOON Sheppard is letting Edoras lead the way between HUTS and behind COVER, when it's available, toward an unknown destination. Edoras is about to leave the cover of an OVERTURNED CART just as Sheppard reaches him. SHEPPARD (whispering) Hey, not so fast. EDORAS They might see us. SHEPPARD That's why we take it slow. If they're gonna shoot at us I'd like to be while we're behind some cover. EDORAS If we don't get there in time- SHEPPARD I get that. But we're not getting anywhere if we're dead, right? (beat) Where are we going anyway? Shouldn't we be heading into the forest? EDORAS We will but we need something first. SHEPPARD What? EDORAS Follow me. Before Sheppard can protest Edoras is off. SHEPPARD Wait... stupid kid. (looking around) Gonna get us shot. ABOVE VILLAGE LOOKING TOWARD A HUT Edoras darts in. Sheppard isn't so brash. He checks his rear quickly then heads in, P-90 leading the way. INT. EDORAS' FAMILY HUT It's small but colorful, decorated in throw rugs and other items of cultural significance. Edoras is trying to slide a LARGE CHEST away from the wall but is having problems. Sheppard does a quick once over of the area then turns his ire toward Edoras. SHEPPARD Are you trying to get us shot? EDORAS I couldn't leave... SHEPPARD (suspicious) Couldn't leave what? Edoras simply can't move the chest but doesn't ask for help. SHEPPARD (CONT'D) What are you doing? EDORAS She's under here. SHEPPARD She? EDORAS My sister. SHEPPARD What!? Sheppard rushes over and with some effort moves the chest away. ANGLE ON SPACE UNDER CHEST There are some boards clearly out of place amongst the rest of the floor. A hidden compartment. Edoras quickly goes to his knees and starts pulling them up. BACK TO SCENE Edoras finished his work and slowly comes to his feet. He's holding a BABY wrapped in a blanket. ANGLE ON BABY Her eyes are wide and bright blue. She's blinks a few times then her gaze locks on Edoras and she laughs. BACK TO SCENE EDORAS My sister, Lalaith. On Sheppard's expression of disbelief we... CUT TO: INT. ATLANTIS - MEDICAL BAY Keller is wiping her face with a warm damp towel when McKay comes in. MCKAY Hey. Keller pulls away the towel and we see her eyes are puffy and red. She sniffs and uses the towel to wipe her nose quickly. MCKAY (CONT'D) Are you okay? KELLER I guess. As well as anyone I suppose. (beat) You? MCKAY Me? Oh, I'm still well into denial. Numb and everything. I'm sure I'll cry like a little girl later but... McKay catches Keller giving him a look. MCKAY (CONT'D) Not that crying like a girl is a bad thing. No, I mean, we should all cry like girls from time to time. I'm sure it's... therapeutic. KELLER Uh-huh. Keller throws the towel in a bin then goes over to a table full of impressive-looking Ancient medical things. McKay follows. MCKAY I came down here to see if you found anything. I wasn't able to help upstairs so I figured I'd see what's up down here. KELLER Upstairs? Something going on? MCKAY Oh, yeah, you don't know. (beat) Sheppard's gone all "lone wolf" it looks like. Even went so far as to try to disguise his attempt to ignore us as interference. KELLER How could you tell? MCKAY It was simple enough to figure out if you heard the sound. Very television. KELLER Uh-huh. MCKAY So, ummm, you find anything with Teyla and Ronon? Keller pushes a quick sequence in on an Ancient terminal and BIOLOGICAL READINGS for both come up on a MONITOR. KELLER Teyla's on the left, Ronon on the right. Nothing out of the ordinary biologically. Both in perfect health. McKay takes an interest in Ronon's readout. He points at a few places then turns back to Keller. MCKAY These marks, what are they? KELLER Healed breaks and fractures. Ronon's got the skeletal structure of a linebacker. But it's nothing recent or unaccounted for. MCKAY Right. Where did they get hit? Keller pushes a few more buttons and the areas hit are lit with a RED RETICULE. KELLER Teyla took one hit to the chest. Ronon one to the front and back. MCKAY Two to take the big guy down, huh? McKay smiles for a brief moment but the moment fades. KELLER It would seem. MCKAY Anything else? KELLER No. Nothing. They're clean otherwise. At that moment a medical technician approaches Keller. MED TECH Doctor? We've found something on one of the dead men brought in. KELLER What is it? The med tech leads Keller, McKay in tow, to the bed of a dead man torn apart from ballistic fire. Beside him, on a small table, are the few trinkets he was carrying. What's of interest is a SMALL BLUE DEVICE. The med tech picks up the device and hands it to Keller. MED TECH This. Keller looks it over. KELLER I've never seen anything like it. (hands it to McKay) You? MCKAY No. It's not Ancient. And it doesn't look like anything from anyone we've come across before. KELLER Another technologically advanced race? MCKAY I'd think when I said "it doesn't look like anything from anyone we've come across before" that would be clear. (beat) Can I take this? Before Keller can answer McKay takes off. KELLER (resigned) Sure, go right ahead, be my guest why don't you. EXT. ATLANTIS - DAY Three PUDDLE JUMPERS come into frame from the right and take a course straight for Atlantis. CARTER (V.O.) An "on/off" switch? INT. ATLANTIS - DIAGNOSTICS LAB McKay and ZELENKA are both standing next to an Ancient SCANNING ARRAY while Carter is a few feet back. SCIENTISTS work on their own projects in the BACKGROUND. ZELENKA A lot like a garage door opener. It looks to have only two functions. To send a command to turn something on then- CARTER I know how a garage door opener works. ZELENKA Yes, or course. But that is all it appears to do. Our scanning equipment detected nothing beyond those base commands within its subroutines. CARTER Do we know what it turns on and off? MCKAY Not really, no. It appears to have a very short range so we don't think it would act as a detonator or distress signal. CARTER How short are we talking? ZELENKA A few dozen feet. Line of sight seems most likely. CARTER Not much you could do with it. MCKAY Activate a shield, turn on or off a security system... it's hard to say. CARTER But what would the men that attacked Teyla and Ronon be doing with it? ZELENKA Maybe they have a base or ship nearby? CARTER If that's true then Sheppard is going to run into more company then he can probably handle. Carter activates her headset and issues orders. CARTER (CONT'D) (into headset) I need two marine teams outfitted in combat gear and assembled at the stargate in five minutes. And dial Sheppard. He's not alone. INT. EDORAS' FAMILY HUT Sheppard is pacing while Edoras cradles his sister. SHEPPARD (to himself) This isn't good. Taking a kid is bad enough but there's no way we can take a baby. EDORAS I couldn't leave her alone. I was coming for her when that man you hit found me. SHEPPARD I guess there's a bright side to this. EDORAS What? SHEPPARD You're not coming with me. EDORAS I have to! I have to find my family! SHEPPARD You did. Now you have to protect her. You can't come with me and do that. (beat) You said some of your village ran into the forest. Do you know where? Edoras nods. SHEPPARD (CONT'D) Good go to them. You're better off there. EDORAS What about you? How will you find their ship? SHEPPARD I think it's safe to assume they're not far. No sense dragging a bunch of slaves for miles if you can avoid it, right? Do you know where they landed? Edoras doesn't answer. He doesn't like the idea of staying behind. Sheppard detects his anger and is sympathetic. SHEPPARD (CONT'D) (taking a knee) I know you want to come. You want some revenge. These people that took your family, they killed two of my friends. I'm going to make sure they suffer. Don't worry about that. But your sister is who you need to worry about now. Ask yourself what your parents would do. EDORAS They'd protect us. They'd go into the forest. SHEPPARD And that's what you need to do. Okay? EDORAS Okay. SHEPPARD Good. Now which way do I need to go? Edoras points in a direction. EDORAS That way. They came from over there. SHEPPARD Great. (beat) What are you going to do now? EDORAS Take Lalaith and go into the forest with the rest of my village. SHEPPARD That's a good kid. Sheppard scruffs Edoras' hair. SHEPPARD (CONT'D) Get out of here and be careful. Being quiet is more important than speed right now, got it? EDORAS Yes... You never told me your name. SHEPPARD I didn't? Huh, that's weird. My name is John. EDORAS I'm Edoras. SHEPPARD Well, I'm glad to have met you, Edoras. Now get out of here. Edoras nods then EXITS the hut. Sheppard takes one last look around then does the same. TRACKING: EXT. EDORAS' FAMILY HUT - AFTERNOON The moment Sheppard steps out of the hut A LOG comes flying at his face. Sheppard moves to the side just in time to avoid taking it to the nose but it clips his left ear and rips the headset away. Sheppard rolls and turns and sees it's the same man he clubbed earlier, complete with broken nose. SHEPPARD You again? The man readies his log and Sheppard responds by pulling up his P-90. SHEPPARD (CONT'D) I wouldn't. The man considers his options for a moment then a SNAP OF A STICK from off to the side momentarily distracts Sheppard. The man makes his move and goes to fling the log at Sheppard but it's too late. Sheppard sees the move and opens up with a quick burst from his P-90. The man falls dead in clump of torn flesh. Sheppard then turns his attention back to the sound of the snapping stick. He sidesteps around the hut and sees Edoras there shielding his sister. Sheppard lets out a haggard breath and lowers his weapon. SHEPPARD (CONT'D) I thought I told you to get out of here! EDORAS I was when I heard footsteps. When I looked, that man was back. I was going to warn you but... SHEPPARD It's fine. The noise you made let him do something stupid. Can you get out of here now? EDORAS Yes. I will. SHEPPARD Good. Edoras takes off a bit then stops and turns. EDORAS John? SHEPPARD Yeah? EDORAS Thank you. Sheppard smiles then shoos Edoras off with his hand. The boy smiles then disappears into the forest. ANGLE ON SHEPPARD'S DAMAGED HEADSET It's laying on the ground in two pieces. It's completely worthless. An approaching shadow DARKENS the frame. BACK TO SCENE Sheppard is looking down at his damaged equipment and sighs. SHEPPARD Dammit. He takes a quick look around, shakes his head, then goes off in the direction Edoras pointed. INT. STARGATE OPERATIONS Carter is standing next to the operator and trying to raise Sheppard. Next to the stargate we see TWO MARINE TEAMS assembled. CARTER Colonel Sheppard this is Colonel Carter, please respond. OPERATOR We're not getting anything. Either his radio is off or it's been damaged. CARTER Right. Carter straightens herself and addresses the two marine teams below. ON MARINES They're looking up at Carter awaiting orders. CARTER (CONT'D) You have a go. Bring Colonel Sheppard back home. One marine looks over the two teams then takes point. MARINE 2 You heard the Colonel! Let's hustle up! Capisson, you're with me. Jones, take your team and move on the village from the south. (beat) Move out! The two marine teams follow their superior and follow him through the stargate. ANGLE ON CARTER On her expression we... FADE OUT. END OF ACT 2
ACT 3:
Spoiler:

Code: Select all

ACT 3 FADE IN: INT. ATLANTIS - MEDICAL BAY McKay is standing next to Keller as she goes through a small pile of junk belonging to the dead men brought in earlier. McKay is holding the BLUE DEVICE. KELLER What am I looking for? MCKAY I'm not sure. Something that looks like this would be helpful. Lights, flashy things... KELLER Now you're just getting too technical. Flashy things? MCKAY I don't have time to explain to you all the possible object this device could operate. I thought you could handle simple visual queues. KELLER You know I'm a doctor, right? MCKAY Yes, well, your field of expertise often boils down little more than "throw the plant at the germ and see what happens." (beat) You still use leeches for Pete's sake. KELLER Next time you cure a plague let me know. MCKAY Hi, interstellar travel! Nice to meet you. KELLER Oh, please. You reversed engineered that then prayed you didn't get it wrong. (beat) Last time I saw the coyote strap rockets to his shoes it didn't end well. MCKAY I think what we do is a little more involved, wait, you're not stopping are you? Keller tosses a pile of junk from her hands back onto the table. KELLER Yes. I am. It smells terrible and I'm not going to stand here and be patronized while doing your dirty work. (beat) You want it? You find it. McKay regards the pile warily. MCKAY Eh, it was a long shot anyway. Keller goes over to a basin and starts washing her hands. KELLER You think of trying to turn it on? MCKAY Have you not been listening? We don't know what it turns on. There's nothing to turn on if we don't know what it turns on. (beat) Could turn on a TV for all we know- (beat) And we wouldn't know that unless we were in front of it. Keller grabs a towel to dry her hands and stands beside McKay while looking at the pile of junk. KELLER What if the TV is in there and we can't see it? MCKAY What are you talking about? KELLER When I'm at home and I find a remote I don't recognize, I go around the house trying to find out what it does. Sooner or later something either turns on or off. MCKAY Huh. You may have something there. KELLER (tapping her head) You see, not all plants and germs up here. MCKAY Clearly. McKay looks at the device for a moment then points it at the pile. Nothing happens. MCKAY (CONT'D) dang. KELLER You sure you know how to use it? MCKAY Yes I know how to use it. Whatever it works with isn't in that pile. OFF SCREEN Keller and McKay hear a long GROAN. They both turn. KELLER AND MCKAY'S POV It came from behind a DRAWN CURTAIN. We hear a LOUD COUGH. BACK TO SCENE Keller and McKay look at one another with puzzled expressions then carefully approach the curtain. McKay reaches out and pulls the curtain back in one swift motion. ON TEYLA She's sitting up and trying to clear her throat. Just behind her we see Ronon laying back but rubbing his eyes as if he's got a headache. Teyla looks up and notices Keller and McKay. TEYLA What is happening? How did we get here? ON KELLER AND MCKAY They both look at the device then back at Teyla. CUT TO: EXT. FOREST - AFTERNOON SHEPPARD'S POV Just past a few rows of trees, maybe a couple of yards ahead, is a LONG MEDIUM SIZED TRANSPORT. Outside it are FIVE armed men keeping watch. One of the guards is keeping close to the treeline and a good distance from the rest. Sheppard looks on the ground and finds some stones. He takes up a few then looks to find the guard again and lets one fly. It hits the guard in the shoulder and he spins around, weapon aimed. GUARD'S POV There's nothing but trees and silence. ANGLE ON SHEPPARD Sheppard is keeping his body as straight and rigid as possible as he tries to keep hidden behind a tree. In the BACKGROUND we see the guard looking in our direction. ANGLE ON GUARD The guard looks over his shoulder, to check on the positions of the other guards, then moves cautiously into the forest. BACK TO SCENE The guard inches closer and closer to Sheppard's position. When Sheppard senses the guard is close he lowers his hand onto the trigger of his P-90. The guard is coming right up on Sheppard's cover and holds out his weapon, sensing something is off. CLOSE ON SHEPPARD Sheppard's eyes are locked to the left, the side the guard is coming up on, and we see the tip of the guard's weapon come INTO FRAME. BACK TO SCENE The guard is about to spot Sheppard but Sheppard comes out first. He wraps his right arm around the guard's weapon arm, keeping it pointed away from them both, and steps in, shoving his own weapon into the guard's gut. The guard's eyes go wide realizing he's moments from death. SHEPPARD Please... make a noise. The guard is frozen. SHEPPARD (CONT'D) No? Okay, you just bought yourself a few more seconds. (beat) You're gonna tell me how to get into your ship. Then you're gonna tell me who's in charge of this operation and where I can find them. (beat) But first... EXT. SLAVE TRANSPORT - AFTERNOON The five guards are lazily walking around when one of their COMMUNICATORS goes off. GUARD 1 (through comm) I uhh... I got a kid out here, west of the ship. He... he says there's more villagers east of the ship, heading toward some cave. Take some men and check it out. EXT. FOREST - AFTERNOON SHEPPARD'S POV He sees one of the guards point to two others then head into the forest on the opposite side of the ship. SHEPPARD Not bad. One guard left. GUARD 1 (O.S.) What are you gonna do with me? BACK TO SCENE Sheppard has tied the guard's hands and feet with PLASTICUFFS and is holding the guard's communicator to the guard's mouth. Sheppard then tucks it in his pocket and picks up the guard's weapon and gives the guard a look that drops his stomach into his feet. GUARD 1 (CONT'D) (panicked) Wait... I can still help. SHEPPARD This thing have a stun setting? GUARD 1 No please- Before the guard can finish Sheppard shoots him. The discharge is BLUE, just the same as the weapons Ronon and Teyla were attacked with. The guard immediately goes limp. Sheppard feels for a pulse. SHEPPARD Guess so. EXT. SLAVE TRANSPORT - AFTERNOON The remaining guard isn't really looking at anything in particular when Sheppard comes out of the forest and makes a line straight for him. The guard goes to bring his weapon up but Sheppard shoots him with the other guard's weapon once in the face and twice in the chest. The guard goes down without so much as a whimper. Sheppard then goes to the door controls of the ship, punches in a quick sequence, and disappears inside the ship once the doors open. INT. SLAVE TRANSPORT - CORRIDOR Sheppard is making his way down a long corridor lined with CLOSED DOORS on either side, spaced 10 FEET APART. The walls are ORANGE/GOLD and the floor is GRATED. He keeps to the right of the corridor until he comes to an INTERSECTION. The path to the left leads into another intersection and the path to the right is a GRATED SPIRAL STAIRCASE going up. Sheppard is about to go up when he hears FOOTSTEPS coming down. He moves back around the corner and quickly opens one of the doors and ducks inside. INT. SLAVE TRANSPORT - HOLDING ROOM TIGHT ON SHEPPARD'S FACE Sheppard keeps his body pressed against the door. We hear RUNNING FOOTSTEPS growing louder as they approach then quickly fade. Sheppard relaxes once the sound is gone. BACK TO SCENE He then turns to lean his back against the door then notices, with horror, that he's in a room with 18 BODIES on NINE SLATS on each wall. Sheppard recovers then goes over to one of the bodies. It's a YOUNG WOMAN wearing simple clothes. She looks peaceful. Sheppard closes his eyes and feels for a pulse on her wrist. His shoulders slump when he gets his answer. SHEPPARD What the hell is going on here? Sheppard turns back to the door and pushes the control to open it. INT. SLAVE TRANSPORT - CORRIDOR Sheppard cautiously steps out of the room and looks down both ways of the corridor and sees that it is clear. IN A SERIES OF QUICK CUTS he moves down 10 feet and opens another door. More bodies. A few more doors down and another room with bodies. And another. And another. CLOSE ON SHEPPARD'S FACE Anger and disgust twist his visage and his glare slowly turns to his left in the direction of the spiral grated staircase. CUT TO: INT. SLAVE TRANSPORT - STAIRCASE ANGLE DOWN We see Sheppard looking up through the slots in the grated staircase. Seeing it's clear he moves up. TRACKING: INT. SLAVE TRANSPORT - CORRIDOR Sheppard sweeps the corridor and advances forward but stops when he hears voices. GUARD 2 (O.S.) (over speaker) They've swept through the village and they're moving west. Sheppard inches toward the edge of an OPEN ROOM on the right side of the corridor. He peeks in. INT/EXT. SLAVE TRANSPORT - CONTROL ROOM SHEPPARD'S POV He sees a man in brown and black with his back to him hunched over a CONTROL CONSOLE on the opposite side of a THICK WOOD TABLE. TOLBEN Then gather your men in the forest and slow them down! We've got too much cargo to risk losing. GUARD 2 (over speaker) I need more men! TOLBEN I've ordered the ship cleared. You have all there is. Get it done! BACK TO SCENE Tolben slams his fist down on the console and stews while Sheppard slowly steps into the room. At that moment the communicator Sheppard took from the guard goes off. GUARD 2 (over comm) Croy, report your position! Sheppard knows what's coming and pivots off his right foot and launches himself back into the hall. While he does avoid taking a body shot Tolben turns fast enough to shoot the energy weapon out of Sheppard's hand with his own. Sheppard lands on the left side of the opening to the room and nurses his numb hand. He shakes his hand trying to get feeling back into it and pulls himself up into a crouch. Tolben flips the table in his room over and ducks behind it for cover. TOLBEN Who are you!? SHEPPARD The guy that's putting an end to your business here. TOLBEN You have to be joking. SHEPPARD Does it sound like I'm laughing? His right hand still useless Sheppard takes his P-90 up with his left and sprays blindly into the room. Bullets hit metal in WHITE SPARKS and SPLINTERS THE WOOD of Tolben's cover but that's it. When Sheppard stops firing Tolben does the same and fires wildly into the corridor. One of the shots nearly hit Sheppard and he pulls back even further from the door. SHEPPARD (CONT'D) You missed! TOLBEN So did you, my friend. SHEPPARD If we're friends now how about you tell me your name? TOLBEN You're trying to kill me and you don't even know my name? Who sent you? Kurs? Mal'on? I can pay you more. SHEPPARD I'm not interested in money. TOLBEN Not interested in money? Well that's interesting. That makes you either someone I've crossed and don't remember or something of the hero type. Which is it stranger? SHEPPARD I'm no hero. TOLBEN Ah, spoken like a true hero. To be honest I kind of felt you might be. People out for revenge typically can't help brining the crimes of the past up over and over. (beat) You know, "My name is blah blah, you killed my father, prepare to die." SHEPPARD If you have to know your men killed two of my friends. I'm a little annoyed about that. (beat) But since you have a ship full of dead villagers, I figure that's reason enough for me to kill you on principle. CUT TO: EXT. SLAVE TRANSPORT - AFTERNOON Tolben's men are trying to hold off the marines from Atlantis but it's no good. The guards have no cover and simply cannot compete with the training of the U.S. Marine Corps. They're dropping like flies. MARINE 2 Atlantis, we're advancing on a transport ship. Still no sign of Sheppard. We're almost done mopping up outside. We'll be hitting the ship in sixty. INT/EXT. SLAVE TRANSPORT - CONTROL ROOM The CONTROL CONSOLE is relying the sounds outside. We hear BALLISTICS FIRE mixed with less and less ENERGY BLASTS. It's clear what's happening. TOLBEN Looks like your friends are winning. SHEPPARD I'd say so. TOLBEN So, now what? SHEPPARD I was kinda hoping you'd give up. TOLBEN What fun would there be in that? SHEPPARD Have it your way. Sheppard reaches into his utility vest and pulls out a FLASH GRENADE. He pulls the pin and tosses it over the table. ANGLE ON TOLBEN The grenade lands at his feet and he leaps out of the way. BACK TO SCENE Sheppard already has his head tucked between his knees when the grenade goes off in a BRIGHT WHITE EXPLOSION of noise. As soon as it begins its over and Sheppard stands up and enters the room, P-90 at the ready. TRACKING: INT. SLAVE TRANSPORT - CONTROL ROOM Toblen didn't clear the table and is lying on the floor dazed and holding the sides of his head. Sheppard trains his weapon on the man. TOLBEN What now? His anger renewed Sheppard picks the man up and throws him into the corridor with all this strength. TRACKING: INT. SLAVE TRANSPORT - CORRIDOR Tolben hits a bulkhead then bounces unceremoniously to the ground. Sheppard tosses the man his weapon. SHEPPARD Pick it up. Tolben regards him a moment. TOLBEN No. Sheppard aims his P-90 at him. SHEPPARD I said: Pick. It. Up. Tolben pulls himself up to his knees and slumps forward. TOLBEN Won't shoot an unarmed man? (beat) I'm not going to soothe your conscience for you. If you're going to kill me it's going to be like this. Sheppard's temper flares and he kicks Tolben back into the bulkhead and keeps his boot on his chest. He never takes his weapon off the man. SHEPPARD Pick it up! TOLBEN Your problem is that you're a good man. Instead of shooting me in the back you tried to sneak up on me. Instead of gunning me down on the floor you want me armed when you deliver the killing blow. Sheppard lets his boot off Tolben and takes a few paces back. His face is unreadable. TOLBEN (CONT'D) See, just like the good man. That's one difference between us. I won't let anything get in my way when something needs to be done. But you? You need the situation to be just right. You need to know that you did everything you could to preserve life before you take it. (beat) So, what? You take me prisoner? How long do you plan on holding me? You going to put me on trial? What gives you the right? You're a hypocrite. I do what I do because I can. You have to tell yourself you're doing something better. Something higher. (beat) You want to know something? SHEPPARD (cold) What's that? TOLBEN You're worse than me. You just don't know it. SHEPPARD Okay. I'll bite. I'm worse than you Tolben snorts and dismisses Sheppard with a glance. TIGHT ON SHEPPARD'S P-90 BARREL Sheppard fires a short burst of THREE ROUNDS. BACK TO SCENE OFF SCREEN we HEAR Tolben's body fall over. Sheppard lowers his weapon and looks dispassionately over his work. FADE OUT. END OF ACT 3
ACT 4:
Spoiler:

Code: Select all

TAG FADE IN: INT. ATLANTIS - CORRIDOR Sheppard is walking, obviously heading toward somewhere, when Ronon catches up to him. SHEPPARD Hey, how you feeling? RONON A little groggy but that's about it. SHEPPARD Yeah, Dr. Keller says it takes about a day for the effects of the device to wear off. RONON Any word from Keller's team? SHEPPARD They got everyone off the ship and back to the village. Removing the devices wasn't difficult. But, like you, they'll be out of it for awhile. RONON I guess if you've got to move a lot of people keeping them near death is one way to make sure the cargo doesn't start anything. SHEPPARD According to Keller and McKay the devices Tolben had on you were intended for life support. Kind of like a mini intensive care unit for comatose people on the go. (beat) It should be very helpful for a lot of people back home. RONON Except when put on a healthy person it takes over all biological functions. (beat) So Teyla and I looked pretty convincing, huh? SHEPPARD Had the doc fooled. Atlantis' scanners too. Sheppard stops in front of a DOOR. SHEPPARD (CONT'D) This is my stop. RONON Right. We'll talk later. SHEPPARD Okay. Ronon walks a few paces away then turns back to Sheppard as he's about to hit a button next to the door. RONON Sheppard? Sheppard turns. RONON (CONT'D) I wanted to say thanks. SHEPPARD For what? RONON You thought we were dead and you weren't going to let the people that did it get away. Not many would do that. SHEPPARD Well, I'm sure you'd have done the same for me. Ronon nods then walks OFF SCREEN. Sheppard pushes the button on the door. It opens revealing Dr. HEIGHTMEYER. HEIGHTMEYER Colonel, you're early. Come in. INT. ATLANTIS - DOCTOR HEIGHTMEYER'S OFFICE Heightmeyer motions and Sheppard enters. HEIGHTMEYER Please, sit. SHEPPARD Thanks. Sheppard takes a seat on a small couch and Heightmeyer takes a seat off to the side. HEIGHTMEYER So, Colonel Sheppard, what can I do for you? SHEPPARD (unfomfortable) It's... about my last mission. HEIGHTMEYER Yes. I read your report. While I'm sure you know it was unwise for you to go off on your own like that I can understand why you might. You personality profile makes it pretty clear you might do something... rash if you think it's for the greater good. You have nothing to be ashamed about. SHEPPARD I'm not so sure. HEIGHTMEYER Why is that? SHEPPARD I did something that didn't exactly make it into the report. HEIGHTMEYER Okay. What is it? SHEPPARD Tolben. HEIGHTMEYER Your report states you killed him in a fire fight inside the transport. SHEPPARD That's not entirely accurate. HEIGHTMEYER He was killed by someone else? SHEPPARD No, it was me. HEIGHTMEYER What then? Sheppard breaks eye contact with Heightmeyer. He can't look at her just now. SHEPPARD He wasn't armed... when I killed him. Heightmeyer sits back in her chair taking in the new information and Sheppard's obvious discomfort over the revelation. HEIGHTMEYER I see. (beat) How does that make you feel? Sheppard looks at her, wrestling with the question. While he's considering his answer we PUSH IN and... FADE TO BLACK. THE END
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Re: "Stargate: Atlantis" Spec Script

Postby Sstavix » Thu Oct 25, 2012 4:58 am

/applause

Very well done! You especially captured the characters nicely (especially McKay).

The only possible flaw I saw was the idea of someone crawling away after getting shot by Ronon. If you get hit by that hand cannon, you're DOWN, even if it was set on stun. But that's just a minor nitpick. Other than that, I think you did a fantastic job!

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Re: "Stargate: Atlantis" Spec Script

Postby selderane » Thu Oct 25, 2012 4:44 pm

Thanks for reading it! It's a tad longer than your standard 'fanfic" fare. Which a spec on any existing IP is, really.

Of the things I'd like to go back and fix, dialog isn't one of them. I think I nailed the voices and whenever I go back and read it, it's dead on. I don't normally toot my own horn, but I'm very proud of that. Most everything that is wrong with the script is technical, so it's nice to see the dialog holds up even fours years later.

McKay was fun to write. I didn't want to get into overly scientific dialog with him, because that's boring to write, so I gave him something small to play with to still be smug about. I really like the banter between him and Keller. And this spec was written before Keller was a recurring character and fleshed out. I was wading into new territory with her!

Man... I like this script...
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Re: "Stargate: Atlantis" Spec Script

Postby ArchAngel » Thu Oct 25, 2012 4:53 pm

Yeah, I want to go watch some SG:A now.
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Re: "Stargate: Atlantis" Spec Script

Postby selderane » Thu Oct 25, 2012 6:44 pm

Yeah, I want to go watch some SG:A now.
That's great, but watch Stargate: Universe instead, if you haven't already. It's frickin' amazing.

They really tried to do something different with the franchise, darken it some, take the situation seriously (something Atlantis didn't do, which turned me off around season 3), and breathe some new life into the brand.

Unfortunately some "fans" turned on it and did everything they could to hurt it. It's a shame. SG:U could have done some incredible things.
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Re: "Stargate: Atlantis" Spec Script

Postby ArchAngel » Thu Oct 25, 2012 8:25 pm

Yeah, I've been meaning too. I've always liked the stargate franchise and Robert Carlyle has always great to watch.
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Re: "Stargate: Atlantis" Spec Script

Postby selderane » Fri Oct 26, 2012 3:02 am

Robert Carlyle is really, really great in it. I became a fan of his because of that. Now I look forward to his parts in Once Upon A Time whenever my wife is watching it.
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Re: "Stargate: Atlantis" Spec Script

Postby ArchAngel » Fri Oct 26, 2012 4:56 pm

His performance as Rumplestiltskin is really the crowning gem for that show; I don't think I'd be keeping up with it with my wife if he wasn't in it.
First time I saw him was in Hitler: Rise of Evil. He just does a magnificent villain.

Anyhow, on your recommendation, I watched the first 3 episodes of SGU. I think I'm hooked. It's great.
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Re: "Stargate: Atlantis" Spec Script

Postby selderane » Sat Oct 27, 2012 1:53 am

His performance as Rumplestiltskin is really the crowning gem for that show; I don't think I'd be keeping up with it with my wife if he wasn't in it.
First time I saw him was in Hitler: Rise of Evil. He just does a magnificent villain.

Anyhow, on your recommendation, I watched the first 3 episodes of SGU. I think I'm hooked. It's great.
It's crack, I tell ya. Aside from a few narrative missteps, SyFy had a great things on their hands. But I can't blame them for canning it. Not when franchise "fans" were as hostile to it as they were.

That and trying to attract a new audience to a long running IP is a monumental order. They were obviously looking for more people than just Stargate fans to watch it, which of course meant alienating some of those fans because you couldn't keep on with what you were doing for 10+ years. I think Caprica suffered from the same problem.

The original idea for what became Caprica wasn't at all based upon the Battlestar Galactica universe. It was it's own thing. But some people thought it could do with some brand recognition and put it in that box. Except I don't know how much consideration was given to 1) the audience who wouldn't watch it simply because it was attached to the Battlestar Galactica brand and 2) the people who weren't going to watch it because it was so radically different from that same brand.

Who is your audience in this scenario?

I half wonder if Stargate: Universe would have survived longer if it didn't have that attachment to a franchise that wasn't going to grow. While the attachment is nice, I don't think it was necessary.
Everything above this sentence is opinion and worth precisely what was paid for it.
Everything below this sentence is indisputable fact as verified by scientists, philosophers, scholars, clergy, and David Bowie.

If Star Wars: Destiny is a CCG, X-Wing is an LCG.


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