it's weird, coming back here...

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kittycathead
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it's weird, coming back here...

Post by kittycathead »

there lives a time for everything to shine, and sometimes, i wonder if that time has passed.

i know this place once was a beautiful hub of activity, where children came to play with their imaginations and form worlds, beautiful worlds, that waited for the next reader to engage them into a fantasy unique to the near-endless bounds of childhood.

and so i return, almost an adult, and look upon this place as it once was and contrast it with its current state. what happened to the colors, to the vibrant seas of life and of the ideas that passed by like fish? where are the friends i used to have, the people that would once come and smile their happy little smiles and chatter endlessly about what most would now consider nothing?

i see ruins. i see them, crumbling, hitting the ground head on like an apple falling from a tree and simply rotting because it has no seeds. i see the colors, faded, like a layer of paint that came off because the elements peeled it with their spiny fingers. if the colors were not peeled, they simply faded into a layer of white or a layer of black and dirt and ash that resulted from the fire finally dying out.

these are the remnants of the last decade, a lost decade, a decade that will never see another childhood. it's a ruin of the times when people didn't feel the need to run from themselves. i run from myself. i look at the stories and the tales and the tears and the veils and i wonder if anyone else remembers what it was like to feel so alive in a structure that doesn't live off of blood.

it's just html, you'd say. it's just a combination of letters and spaces that only an insane person would attach value to. no. it's not. it's so much more than that. you can take language and you can make it robotic, you can take switches and watch them turn on and off, but it is the tendency and the joy of humans to breathe life into so many different things. sure, this may be just html, but this html was given life, it was given the elixir of time, nostalgia, and a whole lot of children just having fun.

memories were made here. nostalgia was brewed here. i can feel it, coursing through my bloodstream and generating toxic tears, wishing for time to turn back so i could experience this once again.

i was ten when i made an account here. i was ten when i began a journey that i didn't know could be taken. i was five when my parents bought minecraft. i was two when this website started to take off. i was an entity in the wind when this place was born, when my parents got married, when they had their childhoods in a completely different time from my own. . .

i am seventeen now, and i write this with the apathy of time and the empathy of nostalgia. i write this with a longing for a simpler time and the existential duality that comes with battling a perfected past and an unpredictable future. i have so many years ahead of me that i feel have already been wasted. i can't make more memories like those i made as a child. the purity would not be there. the clarity would not be there. tears are fogging my eyes as i write this, wondering when i can take the knob of the closest time machine and turn it back towards a time of patience and a treasure trove of innocence. it would be a time when my parents were happier, they were younger, they were still in their thirties and excited for the world that lay ahead. some people would still be alive. i know i would still have my uncle. some people would still have stable households. some people would still have two parents. some people would still have siblings. some people would still have friends. some people would still have hope, instead of the nihilistic acceptance of the fate that is to come.

if you stumble across this, you have an opportunity. you have the opportunity to take the knob and turn it back in time, even if it's just a sneak peek. you cannot change history but you can still view it.

take some time to read a story or two from this archive. maybe you'll gain pieces of your heart back.

i know i did.

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