Truthseeker wrote:Hey brandon, I was wondering, what is your rationale for saying that premarital sex is immoral?
Ah, one moment,
if this is going to turn into a debate,
I would suggest ether doing it through a PM, or another thread.
(In case airpa doesn't want this thread to go off topic.)
JOJ650s, if we want to intensely discuss something, we'll start a new thread in respect of airpa. I do think the question is relevant to airpa's dating life and is worth a brief (1-2 post discussion) at the very least. I hope you will agree.
So, to answer your question, Truthseeker, I could just say that it’s Christian tradition or justify it from scripture, but that would be considered a copout in a largely secular culture. I believe God has rationale for our morality, it’s not just divine arbitration. So, I think there must be a way to reason to this, but I don’t know exactly how. However, I do know that we must at least pick one or more axiomatic values we are trying to achieve and similarly axiomatic ‘bad things’ we are trying to avoid because we cannot derive an ‘ought’ from an ‘is’. I don’t know what those values are though. It could be long term joy or it could be to have a faithful marriage or to have a satisfying sex life in marriage or, even better, to have a rich and satisfying marriage APART from sex.
I think there’re two varieties of premarital sex: promiscuity and the committed-couple sex. Promiscuity promotes sexually transmitted disease, unwanted pregnancies, pregnancies resulting in children without a nurturing home environment, and sets the promiscuous up to be dissatisfied with monogamy in the future. Committed-couple sex is more subtle. Having sex before the ultimate commitment can blind one’s judgment. It can lead to dissatisfaction in the future because one remembers old relationships and old sex lifes. There’s probably more I am not thinking of or are unaware of. . .
I know none of these are terribly strong reasons or arguments. But, I really do believe that making the commitment before sex leads to more desired value and less undesirable consequences. If you love someone for who they are and they love you, and I don’t mean neurotransmitter -driven infatuation or some other ulterior motive (like money), but a deep desire and affection, then what can sex really add to this? Just more neurotransmitters? At this point I think making the commitment THEN having sex makes sex so much more beautiful and valuable and avoids the potential to desecrate this gift into an oblivion of selfish misuse.