I want to thank you for your prayers. It's nice to know that I have online brothers/sisters in Christ that don't even know me, but still are willing to take time to say a prayer for me in the name of our Lord Jesus. I once had a community of secular gaming friends on ign.com boards back in the late 90's, but this is much more of a blessing to communicate with others that are in Christ.
I don't have much of an update on me. My own attention is being shifted less on me and to my family and friends. Other's needs are drawing me closer in my own personal relationship with Him. He showed me today that I have been too clingy to other people for my comfort in Him (going to them for a word) and I should depend solely more on Him through Jesus.
I was talking to my Mother today on the phone and she was telling me a story about how the same thing happened to her. She was saved under her husband (not my father) and depended on him too much to the point that when she was under spiritual oppression/attacks she would cry out his name instead of Jesus'. I was agreeing with her that I knew what she meant and that I did that with her and other spiritual leaders that I was fond of. But it only dawned on me later in the day whenever I was sending a text message to my sister letting her know how much I wish mom would stop relaying messages to me through my sister. I wanted to hear directly from her more often not through my sister.
Throughout the day I have thought that two different messages have been relayed to me, but I'm coming to the conclusion that it is only 1 message. Through the Bible it's been "Look at Me, through my Son." and again confirmed through my own words through my sister.
"Look at me through my Son. Stop looking at your mom, stop looking at others you put on a pedestal." Family Idolatry, but even more specific is to actually broaden the term to just Idolatry.
My mother called me about 2 hours ago (3am) says she's going to the doctor today, cause she felt like God spoke to her about her ovaries again. She's had bad health for the majority of her life and strayed from God after the divorce with her husband. All of her sisters have had breast cancer, thank God she hasn't so far. She could have ovarian/liver cancer cause it can effect different areas. She left me when I was 5 to the family I was raised with, because of the court battle that they was dragging me and her through. The doctor told her that she had cancer cells in the ovaries and the stress of the court battle was causing them to get worse.
I hope He doesn't take her from us, because she's only 40. I have a half sister (15) and a half brother (16) (they are full blood to each other). My mom is not afraid of dying she just doesn't want to have to leave my bro and sis cause they don't have much of a dad. So pray for him too.
I have decided to not idolize my family anymore, but to put Him first.
I encourage you guys to pray that His will would be done.
I pray that He would have grace and mercy on her for His own glory.
I'll definitely be praying for God to bless you all for your prayers.