I lost my sister.

[ArcticFox]

And I don't know how to feel about it.

When my brother died last September it was a huge shock... I was closest to him of all my siblings so it hit me like a ton of bricks.

But my sister and I weren't that close. I mean, we got along fine when we were in the same place at the same time, which happened about once every 10 years or so. I have some fond memories of her, especially when I was a little kid. She would tickle me mercilessly and had the coolest wall hangings in her room. A Star Trek poster that I later got to have, a pencil drawing of the album cover for her favorite KISS record... Stuff like that.

She'd been sick for a very, very long time and we found out only last week that she'd been in a hospice facility for a few months. We knew she wasn't likely to make it until March, but this was still sooner than expected.

So I don't know how to feel. It hurts, but I feel guilty that it doesn't hurt more. Mom is the same way... I don't think she's planning to go to another funeral for another of her kids... And on the phone she sounds so emotionally threadbare and tired.

And maybe that's how it is for me too. Tired. Emotionally not ready for this again.

[TripExistence]

Praying, Arctic.

I'm sorry for your loss.

[ccgr]

Praying for your family and sorry to hear about both losses. Don't feel guilty...I think you were just prepared for this to happen.

[ArcticFox]

Thanks...

I guess we were prepared... At this point the family drama seems to be overriding everything and it sickens me to the point of not wanting to think about it and to do my best to keep mom from feeling guilty.

[Bruce_Campbell]

My condolences. I've never lost a sibling, but I can relate to frustrating family drama, and I know what it's like to be too tired to grieve. I hope things get better for you soon. Feel free to send me a message if you need to vent, you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

[Nate DaZombie]

I'm sorry. It's possible it hasn't sunk in yet. I know when a member of my family died, it took some time for it to sink in, then it all came out at once.

[Chozon1]

I'm sorry Arctic...praying for you.

[ArcticFox]

Thanks again, guys. I'm fine but things for mom have gotten worse.

[ccgr]

Praying for her. No parent wants to out live their children and to see two of them pass on so close to each other has to be really tough.